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[shante smith]

as in, going in with a plan to mold a person into who you want them to be.

BUT you can certainly identify things about them that may or may not actually be who they truly are.

having the ability to "see through" some of their behavior which clearly may be performative to some degree

it will allow you to give them a chance to calm it tf down a bit. instead of quickly drawing a conclusion that this is just who they are and writing them off.

many of us have a sense to see when someone's putting on an act. tryna be something they probably really aren't. trust your gut.

i'd say the most beautiful thing is seeing someone slowly melt down those performative barriers and just start to be who they really are because they feel safe and they feel how genuine you are.

but if he don't stop the nonsense in a timely manner, kick his ass to the curb.

but first try to see whats up. especially if he got it going on. lol

[𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖉]

I always try to be as open minded as I can. Someone putting on a persona could be a sign of self doubt and insecurity. I'm usually not quick to judge.
But yea, like you said you can't change ppl. They have to work on it themselves. And if they don't see an issue, then there's really no point.

[shante smith]

I always try to be as open minded as I can. Someone putting on a persona could be a sign of self doubt and insecurity. I'm usually not quick to judge.
But yea, like you said you can't change ppl. They have to work on it themselves. And if they don't see an issue, then there's really no point.

in this case it was a conspiracy theorist thing.

had to let him know #1 ...don't bring that to me cuz it's too negative.

but #2...it didn't even feel genuine to me. like it was an act of "grrr! the government!"

Like he didn't come off as genuinely paranoid (which is a good thing lol cuz if he did I woulda been tf owt)

i can handle a playful "persona". that can be fun and cute. but something that deep...its too much for me.

but i was very gentle with letting him know i dont wanna hear it. not rolling my neck saying "ion wanna hear dat shit!". but still stern and VERY clear.

so after setting a boundary (which he respected), i was intentional in filling our interactions with a lot of positivity . hugs. laughs.

he's falling into place with it. so although i didn't "change" him, i simply changed how he is with me.
it's so nice to see him softening up.

[𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖉]

I always try to be as open minded as I can. Someone putting on a persona could be a sign of self doubt and insecurity. I'm usually not quick to judge.
But yea, like you said you can't change ppl. They have to work on it themselves. And if they don't see an issue, then there's really no point.

in this case it was a conspiracy theorist thing.

had to let him know #1 ...don't bring that to me cuz it's too negative.

but #2...it didn't even feel genuine to me. like it was an act of "grrr! the government!"

Like he didn't come off as genuinely paranoid (which is a good thing lol cuz if he did I woulda been tf owt)

i can handle a playful "persona". that can be fun and cute. but something that deep...its too much for me.

but i was very gentle with letting him know i dont wanna hear it. not rolling my neck saying "ion wanna hear dat shit!". but still stern and VERY clear.

so after setting a boundary (which he respected), i was intentional in filling our interactions with a lot of positivity . hugs. laughs.

he's falling into place with it. so although i didn't "change" him, i simply changed how he is with me.
it's so nice to see him softening up.

Eeek,
I hope it wasn't chemtrails or antivaxxer stuff

Not long ago someone I chat with occasionally brought up that he saw an UFO. Two times. Like
It's been months but I'm still wondering if that's a red flag.

[The definition]

"Nobody can change a person, but you may be the reason somebody changes"....quote from me

[shante smith]

I always try to be as open minded as I can. Someone putting on a persona could be a sign of self doubt and insecurity. I'm usually not quick to judge.
But yea, like you said you can't change ppl. They have to work on it themselves. And if they don't see an issue, then there's really no point.

in this case it was a conspiracy theorist thing.

had to let him know #1 ...don't bring that to me cuz it's too negative.

but #2...it didn't even feel genuine to me. like it was an act of "grrr! the government!"

Like he didn't come off as genuinely paranoid (which is a good thing lol cuz if he did I woulda been tf owt)

i can handle a playful "persona". that can be fun and cute. but something that deep...its too much for me.

but i was very gentle with letting him know i dont wanna hear it. not rolling my neck saying "ion wanna hear dat shit!". but still stern and VERY clear.

so after setting a boundary (which he respected), i was intentional in filling our interactions with a lot of positivity . hugs. laughs.

he's falling into place with it. so although i didn't "change" him, i simply changed how he is with me.
it's so nice to see him softening up.

Eeek,
I hope it wasn't chemtrails or antivaxxer stuff

Not long ago someone I chat with occasionally brought up that he saw an UFO. Two times. Like
It's been months but I'm still wondering if that's a red flag.

def a lot of that antivaxxer mess sprinkled in.

But I think most of it was some sort of "I know things other people don't! I'm so smarter than everyone else cuz they don't realize these things!"

Like ok I get it . You're soooo in the know. Let's talk about something positive now .

I did give him somewhat of a pass cuz his brother recently passed after taking the covid shot . I had to be somewhat understanding of that but ultimately you gotta look out for your own sanity and mental space as well.

Once he started sprinkling in that conspiracy mess into our convos too much I had to put a stop to it .

He completely let it go and I adore him for really respecting me in that way.

Not only respecting a boundary but not being passive aggressive / feeling some type of way about the boundary being set. Or playing tit for tat. Just obliging a very reasonable request.

[shante smith]

"Nobody can change a person, but you may be the reason somebody changes"....quote from me

 

True tea

[BrandyFromTheFuture]

So did he change or nah

[JCJ 🪐]

"Nobody can change a person, but you may be the reason somebody changes"....quote from me

Zjjxzjjdjdjdj

[shante smith]

So did he change or nah

he made the necessary adjustments