IMO, it's Housewives and we expect the girls to pop OFF. That's kinda why we watch. Ashley bringing it up in the first place was comical because all Housewives talk to each other like that
I think Wendy's point was that certain words hold a certain weight depending on whose mouth it comes out of and who it is directed to. You don't have to agree with this or do this yourself, but this issue does exist.