as in, going in with a plan to mold a person into who you want them to be.
BUT you can certainly identify things about them that may or may not actually be who they truly are.
having the ability to "see through" some of their behavior which clearly may be performative to some degree
it will allow you to give them a chance to calm it tf down a bit. instead of quickly drawing a conclusion that this is just who they are and writing them off.
many of us have a sense to see when someone's putting on an act. tryna be something they probably really aren't. trust your gut.
i'd say the most beautiful thing is seeing someone slowly melt down those performative barriers and just start to be who they really are because they feel safe and they feel how genuine you are.
but if he don't stop the nonsense in a timely manner, kick his ass to the curb.
but first try to see whats up. especially if he got it going on. lol