Brandy Source

he throws out lil tidbits of info which are clearly crafted to prompt an emotional response

nothing drastic or disrespectful enough for you to cut them off (he aint stupid lol), but just questionable enough to make you feel something. ask something.

remember this:

it is an attempt at emotional manipulation which is often rooted in insecurity.

as in: even though you're there with them, and are interested...something in them needs you to validate or express your interest more.

maybe he feels another guy will grab you up if you're not as seemingly emotionally invested as he'd like you to be

i don't believe in demonizing insecurity . it can be a feeling many of us human beings cannot control sometimes.

but if they don't stop it once they clearly see you do NOT respond to that at all - making their elaborate effort pretty fruitless, it may be time to keep it moving.

(https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExYnNvMXVqZHluaWQzeWpxeDVxazlzaDdzMmxoejd1OHhmb3cyeWJvZCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/HdeOrN8LY8762OLohP/giphy.gif)

Is it a gay thing that men like to play these lil games?

terrible advice

this brings to mind a quote, the author of which escapes me- 'raise your vibration to a higher frequency and whoever can't match it will eventually fall to the wayside..'

This goes for coworkers, business partners, friendships, family etc. And it's how I've ROOTED out a lot of mess and time wasters over the past 10 years.

Literally turn on your inner 'light' and they scatter like roaches

Quote from: 𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖉 on May 15, 2024, 08:39:07 AMIs it a gay thing that men like to play these lil games?

straight (and "straight") men do it too

diddy is an extreme example. he was def playing mind games with cassie to keep her in place

id say any form of attempted manipulation needs to be taken seriously though

sometimes people think certain things are "cute" and innocent . which it may be innocent

but sometimes there can be something more sinister behind it. or it could escalate into other forms of attempted manipulation or control

No need to write them off immediately but just keeping your eyes open and staying attentive.

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 09:27:50 AM

Quote from: 𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖉 on May 15, 2024, 08:39:07 AMIs it a gay thing that men like to play these lil games?

straight (and "straight") men do it too

id say any form of attempted manipulation needs to be taken seriously though

sometimes people think certain things are "cute" and innocent . which it may be innocent

but sometimes there can be something more sinister behind it. or it could escalate into other forms of attempted manipulation

!!!

Honestly it's the way abusive relationships usually start. They test your tolerance here and there, to eventually trick you into a submissive situation.

Quote from: ophababes. on May 15, 2024, 08:44:05 AMflawless advice. wats ur cashapp

boy u better keep ur money lol

Quote from: 𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖉 on May 15, 2024, 09:34:47 AM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 09:27:50 AM

Quote from: 𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖉 on May 15, 2024, 08:39:07 AMIs it a gay thing that men like to play these lil games?

straight (and "straight") men do it too

id say any form of attempted manipulation needs to be taken seriously though

sometimes people think certain things are "cute" and innocent . which it may be innocent

but sometimes there can be something more sinister behind it. or it could escalate into other forms of attempted manipulation

!!!

Honestly it's the way abusive relationships usually start. They test your tolerance here and there, to eventually trick you into a submissive situation.

thats exactly what it feels like. Ur being tested

Seeing how far the envelope can be pushed

That's exactly why I feel once it occurs treat it must be treated as an "orange to red" flag.

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 09:44:20 AM

Quote from: ophababes. on May 15, 2024, 08:44:05 AMterrible advice

boy u better show your partner validation when you clearly see they're needing it

now thats what i'm talking abt!

:usureuok:

Communication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 10:34:58 AMCommunication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

overall he's a good guy. He's sweet. I don't wanna make it seem like he's horrible .

And he's the type of guy that I look for

Older, established with a successful business. A leader. A boss. I love that in men.

But with those types of guys also come a need to control things .

They're used to getting their way. People doing what they're told. Throwing their money at things to get it solved.

I've come to terms with that. I can't have my cake and eat it too . As in, entertaining  a guy who fits the profile I'm looking for but demanding that all the other stuff that comes with it somehow disappears completely.

I'm fair and reasonable in that sense.

But I have my limits. I push back when I feel it's needed and I'm always ready to exit if I have to.

Yes he's great and all and that's why I'm here but clearly there's something I bring that is of value to him as well. That's not lost on me at all

So let's figure this owt

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 10:50:34 AM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 10:34:58 AMCommunication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

overall he's a good guy. He's sweet. I don't wanna make it seem like he's horrible .

And he's the type of guy that I look for

Older, established with a successful business. A leader. A boss. I love that in men.

But with those types of guys also come a need to control things .

They're used to getting their way. People doing what they're told. Throwing their money at things to get it solved.

I've come to terms with that. I can't have my cake and eat it too . As in, entertaining  a guy who fits the profile I'm looking for but demanding that all the other stuff that comes with it somehow disappears completely.

I'm fair and reasonable in that sense.

But I have my limits. I push back when I feel it's needed and I'm always ready to exit if I have to.

Yes he's great and all and that's why I'm here but clearly there's something I bring that is of value to him as well. That's not lost on me at all

So let's figure this owt

Yeah, see, I tend to be the president in the relationship. It just works out that way. Hell, I'd love to ride in the passenger seat! It's a rare man that I would trust behind the wheel, though.

Alas, I kinda figure dealing with a guy like the one you're describing would require a fair amount of 'submitting'. That seems to be the pathology behind the facade..they work and strive and pay the cost to..well..be the boss. Anything less than that would probably defeat the purpose, I would think.

So, how are you responding to his attempts to make you jealous? Have you considered meditation or counseling? And what's both of your zodiac signs, boo?

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 11:11:20 AM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 10:50:34 AM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 10:34:58 AMCommunication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

overall he's a good guy. He's sweet. I don't wanna make it seem like he's horrible .

And he's the type of guy that I look for

Older, established with a successful business. A leader. A boss. I love that in men.

But with those types of guys also come a need to control things .

They're used to getting their way. People doing what they're told. Throwing their money at things to get it solved.

I've come to terms with that. I can't have my cake and eat it too . As in, entertaining  a guy who fits the profile I'm looking for but demanding that all the other stuff that comes with it somehow disappears completely.

I'm fair and reasonable in that sense.

But I have my limits. I push back when I feel it's needed and I'm always ready to exit if I have to.

Yes he's great and all and that's why I'm here but clearly there's something I bring that is of value to him as well. That's not lost on me at all

So let's figure this owt

Yeah, see, I tend to be the president in the relationship. It just works out that way. Hell, I'd love to ride in the passenger seat! It's a rare man that I would trust behind the wheel, though.

Alas, I kinda figure dealing with a guy like the one you're describing would require a fair amount of 'submitting'. That seems to be the pathology behind the facade..they work and strive and pay the cost to..well..be the boss. Anything less than that would probably defeat the purpose, I would think.

So, how are you responding to his attempts to make you jealous? Have you considered meditation or counseling? And what's both of your zodiac signs, boo?

both cancers.  :plzstop: 

Which in itself is mess

But it hasn't been overbearing . Only 1 attempt I've counted

I don't entertain it . And that's pretty easy to do becuz I really and honestly don't care

Fnnfnfnfnfnnfncnfnfncncnnxnxncnfnfnnf

I'm detached enough from tea to just see what's being tried , make a note of it and keep it pushing.

But at the same time I'm not just sitting around looking for or jumping at reasons to end things . Because if that's the case you have to wonder if you're giving a saboteur tea.

It's mild for now so no huge issues. but if it ever escalates he'll be pointed to the door . That simple

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 12:32:48 PM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 11:11:20 AM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 10:50:34 AM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 10:34:58 AMCommunication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

overall he's a good guy. He's sweet. I don't wanna make it seem like he's horrible .

And he's the type of guy that I look for

Older, established with a successful business. A leader. A boss. I love that in men.

But with those types of guys also come a need to control things .

They're used to getting their way. People doing what they're told. Throwing their money at things to get it solved.

I've come to terms with that. I can't have my cake and eat it too . As in, entertaining  a guy who fits the profile I'm looking for but demanding that all the other stuff that comes with it somehow disappears completely.

I'm fair and reasonable in that sense.

But I have my limits. I push back when I feel it's needed and I'm always ready to exit if I have to.

Yes he's great and all and that's why I'm here but clearly there's something I bring that is of value to him as well. That's not lost on me at all

So let's figure this owt

Yeah, see, I tend to be the president in the relationship. It just works out that way. Hell, I'd love to ride in the passenger seat! It's a rare man that I would trust behind the wheel, though.

Alas, I kinda figure dealing with a guy like the one you're describing would require a fair amount of 'submitting'. That seems to be the pathology behind the facade..they work and strive and pay the cost to..well..be the boss. Anything less than that would probably defeat the purpose, I would think.

So, how are you responding to his attempts to make you jealous? Have you considered meditation or counseling? And what's both of your zodiac signs, boo?

both cancers.  :plzstop: 

Which in itself is mess

But it hasn't been overbearing . Only 1 attempt I've counted

I don't entertain it . And that's pretty easy to do becuz I really and honestly don't care

Fnnfnfnfnfnnfncnfnfncncnnxnxncnfnfnnf

I'm detached enough from tea to just see what's being tried , make a note of it and keep it pushing.

But at the same time I'm not just sitting around looking for or jumping at reasons to end things . Because if that's the case you have to wonder if you're giving a saboteur tea.

It's mild for now so no huge issues. but if it ever escalates he'll be pointed to the door . That simple

Oh, the tea I'm gathering is 2 Cancers actually go the distance for the most part. Yeah, you might be blowing things (what little there is) out of proportion. It's good to vent, though. And share.

Yeah, I give saboteur down lol. It's really 'freedom seeking' because as an Aquarian man, I just have to do my own thing and I'm very picky. And experimental. And the men I find it h-a-r-d to pull away from.. actually scare me the most! They hold WAY too much power and I just have to flee bnnnnnnvbvnn and when it's impossible to flee.. I'm a bird in a cage. A fckn HOSTAGE lol

I'm evolving over time though, I don't find myself in troublesome situations quite as often, thank the Lord.

But, yeah, can I hear some more about this gent? How long's it been? How did you meet? Are you in love? I'm a good ear and pretty nosy inquisitive

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 03:48:37 PM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 12:32:48 PM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 11:11:20 AM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 10:50:34 AM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 10:34:58 AMCommunication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

overall he's a good guy. He's sweet. I don't wanna make it seem like he's horrible .

And he's the type of guy that I look for

Older, established with a successful business. A leader. A boss. I love that in men.

But with those types of guys also come a need to control things .

They're used to getting their way. People doing what they're told. Throwing their money at things to get it solved.

I've come to terms with that. I can't have my cake and eat it too . As in, entertaining  a guy who fits the profile I'm looking for but demanding that all the other stuff that comes with it somehow disappears completely.

I'm fair and reasonable in that sense.

But I have my limits. I push back when I feel it's needed and I'm always ready to exit if I have to.

Yes he's great and all and that's why I'm here but clearly there's something I bring that is of value to him as well. That's not lost on me at all

So let's figure this owt

Yeah, see, I tend to be the president in the relationship. It just works out that way. Hell, I'd love to ride in the passenger seat! It's a rare man that I would trust behind the wheel, though.

Alas, I kinda figure dealing with a guy like the one you're describing would require a fair amount of 'submitting'. That seems to be the pathology behind the facade..they work and strive and pay the cost to..well..be the boss. Anything less than that would probably defeat the purpose, I would think.

So, how are you responding to his attempts to make you jealous? Have you considered meditation or counseling? And what's both of your zodiac signs, boo?

both cancers.  :plzstop: 

Which in itself is mess

But it hasn't been overbearing . Only 1 attempt I've counted

I don't entertain it . And that's pretty easy to do becuz I really and honestly don't care

Fnnfnfnfnfnnfncnfnfncncnnxnxncnfnfnnf

I'm detached enough from tea to just see what's being tried , make a note of it and keep it pushing.

But at the same time I'm not just sitting around looking for or jumping at reasons to end things . Because if that's the case you have to wonder if you're giving a saboteur tea.

It's mild for now so no huge issues. but if it ever escalates he'll be pointed to the door . That simple

Oh, the tea I'm gathering is 2 Cancers actually go the distance for the most part. Yeah, you might be blowing things (what little there is) out of proportion. It's good to vent, though. And share.

Yeah, I give saboteur down lol. It's really 'freedom seeking' because as an Aquarian man, I just have to do my own thing and I'm very picky. And experimental. And the men I find it h-a-r-d to pull away from.. actually scare me the most! They hold WAY too much power and I just have to flee bnnnnnnvbvnn and when it's impossible to flee.. I'm a bird in a cage. A fckn HOSTAGE lol

I'm evolving over time though, I don't find myself in troublesome situations quite as often, thank the Lord.

But, yeah, can I hear some more about this gent? How long's it been? How did you meet? Are you in love? I'm a good ear and pretty nosy inquisitive

yeah nothing super concerning

Just a mild attempt at him doin a lil mess. I didn't think it was "cute" but I didn't think it was life threatening either.

Fnfnfnfnnfnf

I don't wanna go into too too much detail about him but I def care for him

And u seem like such a sweetheart . And ur so funny. I'm sure whoever u pair up with has a blast with u ❤️❤️

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 04:01:06 PM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 03:48:37 PM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 12:32:48 PM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 11:11:20 AM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 10:50:34 AM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 10:34:58 AMCommunication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

overall he's a good guy. He's sweet. I don't wanna make it seem like he's horrible .

And he's the type of guy that I look for

Older, established with a successful business. A leader. A boss. I love that in men.

But with those types of guys also come a need to control things .

They're used to getting their way. People doing what they're told. Throwing their money at things to get it solved.

I've come to terms with that. I can't have my cake and eat it too . As in, entertaining  a guy who fits the profile I'm looking for but demanding that all the other stuff that comes with it somehow disappears completely.

I'm fair and reasonable in that sense.

But I have my limits. I push back when I feel it's needed and I'm always ready to exit if I have to.

Yes he's great and all and that's why I'm here but clearly there's something I bring that is of value to him as well. That's not lost on me at all

So let's figure this owt

Yeah, see, I tend to be the president in the relationship. It just works out that way. Hell, I'd love to ride in the passenger seat! It's a rare man that I would trust behind the wheel, though.

Alas, I kinda figure dealing with a guy like the one you're describing would require a fair amount of 'submitting'. That seems to be the pathology behind the facade..they work and strive and pay the cost to..well..be the boss. Anything less than that would probably defeat the purpose, I would think.

So, how are you responding to his attempts to make you jealous? Have you considered meditation or counseling? And what's both of your zodiac signs, boo?

both cancers.  :plzstop: 

Which in itself is mess

But it hasn't been overbearing . Only 1 attempt I've counted

I don't entertain it . And that's pretty easy to do becuz I really and honestly don't care

Fnnfnfnfnfnnfncnfnfncncnnxnxncnfnfnnf

I'm detached enough from tea to just see what's being tried , make a note of it and keep it pushing.

But at the same time I'm not just sitting around looking for or jumping at reasons to end things . Because if that's the case you have to wonder if you're giving a saboteur tea.

It's mild for now so no huge issues. but if it ever escalates he'll be pointed to the door . That simple

Oh, the tea I'm gathering is 2 Cancers actually go the distance for the most part. Yeah, you might be blowing things (what little there is) out of proportion. It's good to vent, though. And share.

Yeah, I give saboteur down lol. It's really 'freedom seeking' because as an Aquarian man, I just have to do my own thing and I'm very picky. And experimental. And the men I find it h-a-r-d to pull away from.. actually scare me the most! They hold WAY too much power and I just have to flee bnnnnnnvbvnn and when it's impossible to flee.. I'm a bird in a cage. A fckn HOSTAGE lol

I'm evolving over time though, I don't find myself in troublesome situations quite as often, thank the Lord.

But, yeah, can I hear some more about this gent? How long's it been? How did you meet? Are you in love? I'm a good ear and pretty nosy inquisitive

yeah nothing super concerning

Just a mild attempt at him doin a lil mess. I didn't think it was "cute" but I didn't think it was life threatening either.

Fnfnfnfnnfnf

I don't wanna go into too too much detail about him but I def care for him

And u seem like such a sweetheart . And ur so funny. I'm sure whoever u pair up with has a blast with u ❤️❤️

aww, you're very kind. And hilarious, you keep me in stitches!! I hope you two find all the love and happiness and laughter and friendship the world can offer. I can say that friendship was the foundation of every romantic bond I ever built, nurture that and I believe you can weather any storm

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 04:31:35 PM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 04:01:06 PM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 03:48:37 PM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 12:32:48 PM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 11:11:20 AM

Quote from: andre 3000 on May 15, 2024, 10:50:34 AM

Quote from: makeme on May 15, 2024, 10:34:58 AMCommunication is key, I mean, aren't we grown? He should speak in a direct way and express any concerns or needs that may be lacking. I went through something like this with someone who I refused to take seriously. Once I put you in that box, ain't no amount of huffing and puffing or passive aggressive mess going to change it. To be taken seriously is a privilege, not a right, and that privilege must be EARNED. In my book

overall he's a good guy. He's sweet. I don't wanna make it seem like he's horrible .

And he's the type of guy that I look for

Older, established with a successful business. A leader. A boss. I love that in men.

But with those types of guys also come a need to control things .

They're used to getting their way. People doing what they're told. Throwing their money at things to get it solved.

I've come to terms with that. I can't have my cake and eat it too . As in, entertaining  a guy who fits the profile I'm looking for but demanding that all the other stuff that comes with it somehow disappears completely.

I'm fair and reasonable in that sense.

But I have my limits. I push back when I feel it's needed and I'm always ready to exit if I have to.

Yes he's great and all and that's why I'm here but clearly there's something I bring that is of value to him as well. That's not lost on me at all

So let's figure this owt

Yeah, see, I tend to be the president in the relationship. It just works out that way. Hell, I'd love to ride in the passenger seat! It's a rare man that I would trust behind the wheel, though.

Alas, I kinda figure dealing with a guy like the one you're describing would require a fair amount of 'submitting'. That seems to be the pathology behind the facade..they work and strive and pay the cost to..well..be the boss. Anything less than that would probably defeat the purpose, I would think.

So, how are you responding to his attempts to make you jealous? Have you considered meditation or counseling? And what's both of your zodiac signs, boo?

both cancers.  :plzstop: 

Which in itself is mess

But it hasn't been overbearing . Only 1 attempt I've counted

I don't entertain it . And that's pretty easy to do becuz I really and honestly don't care

Fnnfnfnfnfnnfncnfnfncncnnxnxncnfnfnnf

I'm detached enough from tea to just see what's being tried , make a note of it and keep it pushing.

But at the same time I'm not just sitting around looking for or jumping at reasons to end things . Because if that's the case you have to wonder if you're giving a saboteur tea.

It's mild for now so no huge issues. but if it ever escalates he'll be pointed to the door . That simple

Oh, the tea I'm gathering is 2 Cancers actually go the distance for the most part. Yeah, you might be blowing things (what little there is) out of proportion. It's good to vent, though. And share.

Yeah, I give saboteur down lol. It's really 'freedom seeking' because as an Aquarian man, I just have to do my own thing and I'm very picky. And experimental. And the men I find it h-a-r-d to pull away from.. actually scare me the most! They hold WAY too much power and I just have to flee bnnnnnnvbvnn and when it's impossible to flee.. I'm a bird in a cage. A fckn HOSTAGE lol

I'm evolving over time though, I don't find myself in troublesome situations quite as often, thank the Lord.

But, yeah, can I hear some more about this gent? How long's it been? How did you meet? Are you in love? I'm a good ear and pretty nosy inquisitive

yeah nothing super concerning

Just a mild attempt at him doin a lil mess. I didn't think it was "cute" but I didn't think it was life threatening either.

Fnfnfnfnnfnf

I don't wanna go into too too much detail about him but I def care for him

And u seem like such a sweetheart . And ur so funny. I'm sure whoever u pair up with has a blast with u ❤️❤️

aww, you're very kind. And hilarious, you keep me in stitches!! I hope you two find all the love and happiness and laughter and friendship the world can offer. I can say that friendship was the foundation of every romantic bond I ever built, nurture that and I believe you can weather any storm

☺️❤️

.

j/k djfjfjfj

Quote from: JCJ 🪐 on May 15, 2024, 05:57:04 PMj -

(https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExYTl1MmJib2dvMXM0NWRiNjBpcmoyYzhxcmdmc29jYWd4bjc2ZWZxcSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/otKLn0kwIsBNjlsNEV/giphy.gif)