This is for the closeted guys, or those who try to identify as bisexual but lean more towards gay. When it comes to marriage, are you going to try to find a woman to marry out of convenience? Normalcy, acceptance, the ease of it all (as far as the former) even though you may feel unfulfilled, or lean more towards men otherwise?
Or would you want to spend your life with/marry a man, and be able to be your complete self, although dealing with the judgement and hardships that come with being gay.
I don't see myself getting married.
some days I do think of that fairytale shit that the world feeds u but I snap out of it
I did have plans on fucking a girl and putting a hole in the condom (which I may still do).. Still praying on it. So I can have a child!
I really want to be a father
But I couldn't imagine marrying just for the "look" aspect of it.. I would be miserable
And that goes for being with a dude as well.
I doubt I'll ever marry a guy.. It just doesn't interest me in the least bit
It's def hard being gay but every day is a step towards me fully coming into form ..
It was rough about a month ago, the boy was having a tougher time, just with religious convictions, brainwashing, etc, so that makes it harder on us. Its so emotionally exhausting tbh
I just can't do it tho, that's my mindset now
I don't feel like it's fair to the woman.
I've come to the realization I want to be a father, but that doesn't mean traditional marriage. And that's ok.
I've seen too many of my old friends do the marriage cop out, some end in divorce early already, and some are still married, I just honestly believe the attraction to men is set in stone, you can't ignore it forever. Why ruin this girls life that you love, when you have your inevitable breakdown at 50 :dead:
I may be wrong, but I feel like if you're identifying with bi for life, traditional marriage isn't for you. One year is gonna come when you want Dooch, and it'll be hell
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 12:04:02 PM
This is for the closeted guys, or those who try to identify as bisexual but lean more towards gay.
:hmph:
BBBBXBXBVVVVVBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB @ doochie
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 12:27:19 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 12:04:02 PM
This is for the closeted guys, or those who try to identify as bisexual but lean more towards gay.
:hmph:
DDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSD
Quote from: Tanya Turner on July 26, 2016, 12:28:06 PM
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:09:23 PM
I don't see myself getting married.
some days I do think of that fairytale shit that the world feeds u but I snap out of it
I did have plans on fucking a girl and putting a hole in the condom (which I may still do).. Still praying on it. So I can have a child!
I really want to be a father
But I couldn't imagine marrying just for the "look" aspect of it.. I would be miserable
And that goes for being with a dude as well.
I doubt I'll ever marry a guy.. It just doesn't interest me in the least bit
It's def hard being gay but every day is a step towards me fully coming into form ..
Nnn
And when it backfires on you and she aborts that child...?
N
v
i would clearly play nice for 6 months or so fool..prolly the full 9 actually to ensure a safe delivery,,
How I am with men now, I don't see marrying one either tbh
They've been too much hassle, so difficult
It would have to be something huge to move me into thinking a fairytale marriage would work between us
:melmel:
But sometimes Lonz .... when we're just sitting there in peace .... I do imagine us during holidays. Putting up a tree or something, maybe with me bringing some baked cookies and wine with an apron on
Or maybe having a party on birthdays and doing toasts to each other
Ya know, playing normal, like how I grew up
Yea .... that'd be kinda nice ... maybe
:hmph:
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 12:27:19 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 12:04:02 PM
This is for the closeted guys, or those who try to identify as bisexual but lean more towards gay.
:hmph:
Wha??
ssssssssssss
These girls never like to TALK
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: BENTLEY! on July 26, 2016, 12:37:15 PM
ssssssssssss
These girls never like to TALK
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Were the only open ones... no shade
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: BENTLEY! on July 26, 2016, 12:26:03 PM
I may be wrong, but I feel like if you're identifying with bi for life, traditional marriage isn't for you. One year is gonna come when you want Dooch, and it'll be hell
Bisexuality doesn't equate to infidelity tho. The temptation may strong as hell, but that doesn't mean the foundation of a solid relationship can't overpower an attraction to both sexes.
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 12:34:47 PM
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 12:27:19 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 12:04:02 PM
This is for the closeted guys, or those who try to identify as bisexual but lean more towards gay.
:hmph:
Wha??
This was a good as topic and you made it exclusive :fuming:
well we aren't closeted or "bi"
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: ANIMMAI on July 26, 2016, 12:38:06 PM
Quote from: BENTLEY! on July 26, 2016, 12:26:03 PM
I may be wrong, but I feel like if you're identifying with bi for life, traditional marriage isn't for you. One year is gonna come when you want Dooch, and it'll be hell
Bisexuality doesn't equate to infidelity tho.
all the back fire i catch on here for being closeted
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 12:38:38 PM
well we aren't closeted or "bi"
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
we know ur the poster child for faggotry..
no need to brag
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Not a closet/discreet gorl myself, but I'm a bit iffy about marriage. One one hand, it seems like the ideal thing to do when you've found "the one"...on the other hand, it sounds like an outdated tradition that people are too concerned about.
Those tax benefits sound lovely tho :justabit:
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:40:42 PM
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 12:38:38 PM
well we aren't closeted or "bi"
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
we know ur the poster child for faggotry..
no need to brag
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
d
not sure why you're attacking me
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:09:23 PM
I did have plans on fucking a girl and putting a hole in the condom (which I may still do).. Still praying on it. So I can have a child!
I just laughed so fuckin hard. Can't u just pay someone to carry it?
tears
Like Beyonce
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 12:42:09 PM
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:40:42 PM
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 12:38:38 PM
well we aren't closeted or "bi"
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
we know ur the poster child for faggotry..
no need to brag
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
d
not sure why you're attacking me
fffffff
i envy u
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: Don Draper on July 26, 2016, 12:42:21 PM
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:09:23 PM
I did have plans on fucking a girl and putting a hole in the condom (which I may still do).. Still praying on it. So I can have a child!
I just laughed so fuckin hard. Can't u just pay someone to carry it?
like the legal way? .. i feel its unnecessary
my dick still gets hard for women
Quote from: ANIMMAI on July 26, 2016, 12:41:00 PM
Not a closet/discreet gorl myself, but I'm a bit iffy about marriage. One one hand, it seems like the ideal thing to do when you've found "the one"...on the other hand, it sounds like an outdated tradition that people are too concerned about.
Those tax benefits sound lovely tho :justabit:
u get a tax credit for being gay and married?
or just being married, period?
cuz.. :ohwow:
Quote from: Don Draper on July 26, 2016, 12:42:21 PM
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:09:23 PM
I did have plans on fucking a girl and putting a hole in the condom (which I may still do).. Still praying on it. So I can have a child!
I just laughed so fuckin hard. Can't u just pay someone to carry it?
d
or adopt
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 12:38:38 PM
well we aren't closeted or "bi"
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
boy :dead:
well .... do you wanna be married?
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
I'm not saying you COULDN'T do it the natural way. But to avoid tricking the girl, you could just pay someone to do it
Quote from: BENTLEY! on July 26, 2016, 12:44:41 PM
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 12:38:38 PM
well we aren't closeted or "bi"
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
boy :dead:
well .... do you wanna be married?
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
still waiting for you to propose
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: Don Draper on July 26, 2016, 12:44:57 PM
I'm not saying you COULDN'T do it the natural way. But to avoid tricking the girl, you could just pay someone to do it
im thinking ill tell her that i want a child..
women do it all the time no shade..
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:44:12 PM
Quote from: ANIMMAI on July 26, 2016, 12:41:00 PM
Not a closet/discreet gorl myself, but I'm a bit iffy about marriage. One one hand, it seems like the ideal thing to do when you've found "the one"...on the other hand, it sounds like an outdated tradition that people are too concerned about.
Those tax benefits sound lovely tho :justabit:
u get a tax credit for being gay and married?
or just being married, period?
cuz.. :ohwow:
joint filing, life insurance policies, ira plans, stuff like that...
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 12:39:30 PM
Quote from: ANIMMAI on July 26, 2016, 12:38:06 PM
Quote from: BENTLEY! on July 26, 2016, 12:26:03 PM
I may be wrong, but I feel like if you're identifying with bi for life, traditional marriage isn't for you. One year is gonna come when you want Dooch, and it'll be hell
Bisexuality doesn't equate to infidelity tho.
ok I do agree with this
I just feel like it makes the temptation stronger.
I mean ppl always ask, "why did you cheat? What do they have that I don't?"
A friend of mine got divorced, he didn't cheat, but she wanted to know what the issue was, he said he wanted penis sometimes (in a nutshell of course) :dead:
If your spouse says they want penis/vag and you have the opposite, I'd say you're pretty screwed :dead:
and i do want to adopt one..after i have one the natural way!
and then ill be good!
i just want to be a dope ass dad and raise some strong black men or women
:omgwatshappening:
Been openly bisexual for a decade now. (waits for a forced ki)
I used to think I would eventually stop messing with fags and just marry a woman one day and have the white picket fence mess but I was 17 and wasn't really experienced yet.
These days I'm kinda indifferent to the whole marriage mess. If I do I do and if I don't I don't. I guess I wouldn't mind marrying a guy though. IDK
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 12:38:13 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 12:34:47 PM
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 12:27:19 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 12:04:02 PM
This is for the closeted guys, or those who try to identify as bisexual but lean more towards gay.
:hmph:
Wha??
This was a good as topic and you made it exclusive :fuming:
Ah. I just feel like it's more of a dilemma for the bi girls because they can opt either way more genuinely
No
What's the point?
Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.
and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.
whew. I actually regret posting that already d
re-reading that.... It's clearly less about him and more about my insecurities. I feel like I'm overthinking this. My heart never gets this from him.
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset.
This is the part I don't understand. Why does that matter if everything with you all is good and they didn't work out?
He doesn't seem like a bad person or anything but you sound insecure because he entertained the idea of marriage in a previous relationship and it happened to be a woman. As long as he's with you and faithful to you I don't see the problem though. Leave the past in the past.
I FELT that. It SPOKE to me
Quote from: Don Draper on July 26, 2016, 01:37:48 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset.
This is the part I don't understand. Why does that matter if everything with you all is good and they didn't work out?
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 12:40:42 PM
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 12:38:38 PM
well we aren't closeted or "bi"
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
we know ur the poster child for faggotry..
no need to brag
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
dbndndndjsksksi
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: Don Draper on July 26, 2016, 01:37:48 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset.
This is the part I don't understand. Why does that matter if everything with you all is good and they didn't work out?
I really don't know. It really just BOTHERS me to know that someone else potentially had his heart like that. And that it almost led to something so life changing and "important." You know how you never want to picture your mate sleeping with someone else? Well, I don't like picturing mine proposing to someone else, even if it's in the past. Call me crazy
FAME
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.
and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.
Whoa, this is dope. You shouldn't regret sharing tbh.
I think you honestly already recognize that your insecurity or intimidation about his past is impacting the way you feel (or your future with him) more than it should, but isn't that what an insecurity does anyway; until you're able to get over it that is. It's understandable it its something most people go through. I know a few people who have dated bisexual men who have felt the same way.
This resonates with me because I sometimes am intimidated by my partners sexual histories in contrast to my own. That kinda develops into an insecurity around if they will cheat on me or not, if we dont have sex enough. Eh...idk.
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:41:11 PM
Quote from: Don Draper on July 26, 2016, 01:37:48 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset.
This is the part I don't understand. Why does that matter if everything with you all is good and they didn't work out?
I really don't know. It really just BOTHERS me to know that someone else potentially had his heart like that. And that it almost led to something so life changing and "important." You know how you never want to picture your mate sleeping with someone else? Well, I don't like picturing mine proposing to someone else, even if it's in the past. Call me crazy
Oh ok, so it's not the fact that it's a woman.....but that he proposed to someone other than you, period?
I feel like this "he's gonna eventually leave me for a woman" scenario is grossly exaggerated and has people freaked out.
Quote from: Nice Stereo. on July 26, 2016, 01:41:18 PM
FAME
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
znnnxnNnznsndndjdjdjdjdjdjdijx
Fag I'm just kiiin
(http://i58.tinypic.com/dng7c3.jpg)
Quote from: Drais. on July 26, 2016, 01:38:18 PM
He doesn't seem like a bad person or anything but you sound insecure because he entertained the idea of marriage in a previous relationship and it happened to be a woman. As long as he's with you and faithful to you I don't see the problem though. Leave the past in the past.
Your analysis is right. Spot on. I'll shake it eventually, I have to believe our connection.
Damn how long did it take me to type that
What kind of time lapse :uhh:
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 01:41:45 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.
and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.
Whoa, this is dope. You shouldn't regret sharing tbh.
I think you honestly already recognize that your insecurity or intimidation about his past is impacting the way you feel (or your future with him) more than it should, but isn't that what an insecurity does anyway; until you're able to get over it that is. It's understandable it its something most people go through. I know a few people who have dated bisexual men who have felt the same way.
This resonates with me because I sometimes am intimidated by my partners sexual histories in contrast to my own. That kinda develops into an insecurity around if they will cheat on me or not, if we dont have sex enough. Eh...idk.
thanks so much for that. And yes I also relate to feeling less "experienced." He's def lived more than I have.
Quote from: Kurama on July 26, 2016, 01:42:53 PM
Damn how long did it take me to type that
What kind of time lapse :uhh:
:everythingok:
Quote from: Drais. on July 26, 2016, 01:42:29 PM
I feel like this "he's gonna eventually leave me for a woman" scenario is grossly exaggerated and has people freaked out.
I think it has to do with what we've seen more of. I really don't have any examples of old happy gay couples. I see DL men with wives and children as a lifestyle who have escapades with men because they're secretly into them.
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.
and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.
this SPOKE to me :'(
I experience this too, and admitting it's an insecurity is hard
I hate for the boy to talk about this one ex girl he had
for me, it was a host of things, mostly a bit of jealousy because apparently she was cool with his family
not so much intimidated or comparing feelings between the two situations cause I can feel the love,
I attribute my insecurity to my past experiences with his type and how it's ended, probably not your case tho
but it sounds like it's great between you two and he makes these little gestures to show his affection. It'll pass over time IMO
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:47:58 PM
Quote from: Drais. on July 26, 2016, 01:42:29 PM
I feel like this "he's gonna eventually leave me for a woman" scenario is grossly exaggerated and has people freaked out.
I think it has to do with what we've seen more of. I really don't have any examples of old happy gay couples. I see DL men with wives and children as a lifestyle who have escapades with men because they're secretly into them.
I can agree with this.
It can be off putting or whatever. You sound like you have a good thing though. You just have to try to prevent outside mess from picking at your brain and making you feel some type of way.
Quote from: Drais. on July 26, 2016, 02:01:13 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:47:58 PM
Quote from: Drais. on July 26, 2016, 01:42:29 PM
I feel like this "he's gonna eventually leave me for a woman" scenario is grossly exaggerated and has people freaked out.
I think it has to do with what we've seen more of. I really don't have any examples of old happy gay couples. I see DL men with wives and children as a lifestyle who have escapades with men because they're secretly into them.
I can agree with this.
It can be off putting or whatever. You sound like you have a good thing though. You just have to try to prevent outside mess from picking at your brain and making you feel some type of way.
:wub:
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.
and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.
You honestly described me to a T!
i dont have many friends and only a few gay ones but i feel that this resonated with me
i placed my self in this situation while reading it and honestly feel that you need to just enjoy the space that you two are in
you are going to have to come to a place to fully let go of his past and stop comparing urself to this other person..
you two may never have the things that he and she had but honestly those things were more than likely not genuine anyway..
the way the world is built.. we are often confused and believe that we must do the things society says we should..
go to college..
find a woman in the church..
marry her..
have kids..
and one day become rich and live happily ever after!
ive done all of these things in my short life and ive learned that this is when i was living for everyone else and not for myself..
everyday is def a struggle with fully owning who i am.. accepting it.. embracing it..
but i can honestly say i feel so happy speaking the truth to myself.. Men fulfill me.
You need to express this to him
im learning that the best way to truly attain success in ur relationship is talking things out..
it will never work if he doesnt know that u feel this way..
and im sure he will make u feel way better about these feelings...
and he probably sense this space that ur in....
HAVE THE TALK LONZ!
Quote from: 'lock on July 26, 2016, 04:51:58 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on July 26, 2016, 01:32:36 PM
Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.
and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.
You honestly described me to a T!
i dont have many friends and only a few gay ones but i feel that this resonated with me
i placed my self in this situation while reading it and honestly feel that you need to just enjoy the space that you two are in
you are going to have to come to a place to fully let go of his past and stop comparing urself to this other person..
you two may never have the things that he and she had but honestly those things were more than likely not genuine anyway..
the way the world is built.. we are often confused and believe that we must do the things society says we should..
go to college..
find a woman in the church..
marry her..
have kids..
and one day become rich and live happily ever after!
ive done all of these things in my short life and ive learned that this is when i was living for everyone else and not for myself..
everyday is def a struggle with fully owning who i am.. accepting it.. embracing it..
but i can honestly say i feel so happy speaking the truth to myself.. Men fulfill me.
You need to express this to him
im learning that the best way to truly attain success in ur relationship is talking things out..
it will never work if he doesnt know that u feel this way..
and im sure he will make u feel way better about these feelings...
and he probably sense this space that ur in....
HAVE THE TALK LONZ!
thanks glock! these affirmations make me well up
anytime Lonzy!