And not in this sense
"Oh I gave them money for their car payment last month, so they need to do whatever I ask them this month"
:nowgorl:
In this sense
"anytime you need something, I do my best to help and your actions aren't reflecting the reciprocity I feel our relationship should have"
:damselindistress:
I mean, I'm right .... right?
I don't believe in Indian giving or throwing things in ppls face but ... help me out here guys
If your friends aren't reciprocating your efforts( if they have the means to) then I think its pretty clear they may not fuck with you like that
I honestly had to log back in just to comment on this...you are not wrong...at the moment I'm going through the exact same thing.
Feeling like I put so much effort and care in to how I handle people just to get the bare minimum in return. Especially from someone that caims to be a best or close friend.
What you are doing is reevaluating the people you have in your life and that's okay sometimes people have to show and prove just as you have. Tell them about it.. If they can't.. part ways.. you will be okay because you clearly do more so you wont miss much when its all said and done.
People have the tendency to unknowingly use you or become dependent on others without reciprocating the same care.
I do a lot for people, but I never expected anything back Tbh
Nope and that why I don't want anyone doing shit for me.
i dnt do an'thing to get sumthin for my friens
jus ask sinn n drais
i'd KILLS for em
cuz thas jus me
ima mother hen
Quote from: 0717 on April 17, 2017, 04:52:27 PM
If I give to friends or family its always a gift. Never a loan.
Material mess and money just aren't worth the tension or losing someone I love. So I simply avoid it altogether.
And I never expect anything return. But, I never really ask anyone for anything. I'm fiercely independent. It takes a LOT for me to ask someone for something.
what about emotionally twinzy?
Cause I'm trying to explain to them that time is precious too, all the times I sit up and listen and brainstorm with their issues
I mean .. ask how my day is going lol
And they try to spin it into, oh well everybody isn't going to behave like you
I mean it's extreme but if I ask you to walk on hot coal, you need to have your shoes off at least pretending you'd do it :dead:
Quote from: DAMN. on April 17, 2017, 04:52:18 PM
You shouldn't really expect anything back but if it's not reciprocated every now and then, then something's wrong
this is what's getting to me tho
Like damn ... I guess it was too much to expect it.
But I have no desire to continue being close without that bond. How else do I know you really have my back.
I won't lash out tho, I'll just reject the calls when they do come :dead:
I had to cut a couple people off at the top of the year because of this. It's never about THINGS or feeling like I'm owed something.....its about the effort and feeling like you fuck with me and have my best interest in mind the same as I do you. I'm really touchy on that kind of shit
Bent if you want to bring up or talk about your mess then do so.
By the way you're telling it it's not a common occurrence that you bear it all to your friends. People just don't want to be intrusive and feel like you will talk when you're ready.
I always listen to everybody's mess and give them advise and I only open up about my mess once in a blue moon. I just rather sit and figure out my own mess.
I agree Bent.
I don't do anything for anyone expecting something in return, but if we are close I want to feel like you have my back just like I have yours.
Quote from: Real on April 17, 2017, 05:01:48 PM
I had to cut a couple people off at the top of the year because of this. It's never about THINGS or feeling like I'm owed something.....its about the effort and feeling like you fuck with me and have my best interest in mind the same as I do you. I'm really touchy on that kind of shit
Quote from: Camo on April 17, 2017, 04:50:25 PM
I honestly had to log back in just to comment on this... you are not wrong...at the moment I'm going through the exact same thing.
Feeling like I put so much effort and care in to how I handle people just to get the bare minimum in return. Especially from someone that caims to be a best or close friend.
What you are doing is reevaluating the people you have in your life and that's okay sometimes people have to show and prove just as you have. Tell them about it.. If they can't.. part ways.. you will be okay because you clearly do more so you wont miss much when its all said and done.
People have the tendency to unknowingly use you or become dependent on others without reciprocating the same care.
thank you
I needed to read that.
I'm not gonna lie tho, I don't want this friendship to end, but with my temper it might get heated, especially when I'm invested.
I feel like if you're real friends y'all do for eachother whenever the other needs it (Depending on the circumstances)
Quote from: Real on April 17, 2017, 05:01:48 PM
I had to cut a couple people off at the top of the year because of this. It's never about THINGS or feeling like I'm owed something.....its about the effort and feeling like you fuck with me and have my best interest in mind the same as I do you. I'm really touchy on that kind of shit
!!!!
Don't do things for anyone at the consequence of yourself. Being truly genuine is not letting lack of reciprocation have any effect on you. And this is whether it be emotionally or financially.
Also, when you provide emotional or financial support for anyone at the expense of yourself, you make them a thief.
Do things simply because you want to do them. I have learned this lesson the hard way.
And there's no ifs, what ifs, or any other hypotheticals around it.
Quote from: MΛΥDΛΥ on April 17, 2017, 05:06:18 PM
I agree Bent.
I don't do anything for anyone expecting something in return, but if we are close I want to feel like you have my back just like I have yours.
Basically
Like if the shoe was on the other foot would you do it for me? Probably not.
I had to cut a few people loose last year and I don't feel bad about it at all.