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Lounge => General Discussion => Topic started by: herbie on October 09, 2018, 10:31:15 AM

Title: Black guilt?
Post by: herbie on October 09, 2018, 10:31:15 AM
We know what White guilt is, but I was watching The Game on Hulu and Tasha Mack brought up an interesting point about "Black guilt" ...

How some people go out of their way to do certain things to make sure that they're not "that" Black person. Like, making sure to tip service people generously so that they don't align with an apparent stereotype (example used in the show)

In other words, overcompensating on behalf of everyone else in the community in some way.

Although it was a quick kii, it kinda actually made me think a bit. Do you think it's real?
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kurama on October 09, 2018, 11:00:09 AM
Yeah, I definitely think its a thing.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Young on October 09, 2018, 11:04:29 AM
hmmmmmmmmmmm
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: 'ology on October 09, 2018, 11:10:35 AM
Dialog! Current! Culture!
Where TF are the pea crisps?!?
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:14:33 AM
It is real and I definitely used to do it more until my ghetto ass aunt clocked me one day when I tried to ask her to calm down in the movies when she was being loud

She was like ?If we were in a BLACK theater would you be saying this?? :diddraispoot:

She was being an asshole that night but she was kinda right.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kalifornia. on October 09, 2018, 11:16:41 AM
I used to be guilty of this. Especially with the tipping thing.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:29:55 AM
Ok unrelated but related question...do u guys tip food delivery people
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Young on October 09, 2018, 11:33:13 AM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:29:55 AM
Ok unrelated but related question...do u guys tip food delivery people

s
yeah gorl
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Young on October 09, 2018, 11:33:54 AM
Japan>>>

They don't tip. And they see it as offensive if someone offers the mess
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:34:06 AM
I do too

not the Chinese people tho

Just wanted to know & things
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:37:53 AM
I tip people of color way higher than whites (and Asians)

Oof

Terrible, I know but I can?t fckn help it
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: ❄️☃️🌨� Shuji Feels Different 🌨�☃️❄️ on October 09, 2018, 11:38:49 AM
Quote from: Southside Indian on October 09, 2018, 11:04:33 AM
Quote from: Kurama on October 09, 2018, 11:00:09 AM
Yeah, I definitely think its a thing.
It's interesting to me.

I mean I always knew there was the "behave in front of Massa!" mess - where people will make sure to speak extra proper and conduct themselves with "class" in front of White people

But I think this Black guilt thing has a more unique element to it ... I feel as if it's an issue that finds its way into interactions with ourselves and other minority groups.

There's a flip side to this though. There are those persons who speak properly and act a certain way because it's who they are. It's how they're raised, their personality type, or some other environmental factor contributed to them acting "different". Those persons are always accused of not being black enough, or their blackness always comes into question. It's a slippery slope. Not every black person will have the same experiences. We're not a hive. We have individual thought, so what's "behaving in front of massa" for someone might just be a character trait of another black person. This is a great discussion though.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kalifornia. on October 09, 2018, 12:06:09 PM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:29:55 AM
Ok unrelated but related question...do u guys tip food delivery people

Yes. Definitely.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: ❄️☃️🌨� Shuji Feels Different 🌨�☃️❄️ on October 09, 2018, 12:08:29 PM
Quote from: Southside Indian on October 09, 2018, 11:42:19 AM
Quote from: ShujiFinity Wars on October 09, 2018, 11:38:49 AM
Quote from: Southside Indian on October 09, 2018, 11:04:33 AM
Quote from: Kurama on October 09, 2018, 11:00:09 AM
Yeah, I definitely think its a thing.
It's interesting to me.

I mean I always knew there was the "behave in front of Massa!" mess - where people will make sure to speak extra proper and conduct themselves with "class" in front of White people

But I think this Black guilt thing has a more unique element to it ... I feel as if it's an issue that finds its way into interactions with ourselves and other minority groups.

There's a flip side to this though. There are those persons who speak properly and act a certain way because it's who they are. It's how they're raised, their personality type, or some other environmental factor contributed to them acting "different". Those persons are always accused of not being black enough, or their blackness always comes into question. It's a slippery slope. Not every black person will have the same experiences. We're not a hive. We have individual thought, so what's "behaving in front of massa" for someone might just be a character trait of another black person. This is a great discussion though.
Well yeah I'm aware there are Black people who talk very properly and act "classy" due to their upbringing.

All of my Black coworkers are like that. I'm literally the only Black person repping the hood up in there.

sfsffssfsfsf

So question then...if those whites who were raised in the hood were to talk and act the same as you, would they then be accused of trying to "act black" ???
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: FlowerBomb on October 09, 2018, 12:09:21 PM
I used to heavily police myself whenever I went out or was at work.
Now I don't care, I'm unapologetically black.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Hatsumomo on October 09, 2018, 12:13:10 PM
Great thread and yes its very real .. Ill write more later
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kalifornia. on October 09, 2018, 12:13:54 PM
Quote from: Southside Indian on October 09, 2018, 11:29:00 AM
Quote from: Kalifornia on October 09, 2018, 11:16:41 AM
I used to be guilty of this. Especially with the tipping thing.
!!!

What made me think of this is my recent experience with "OK" service.

I hired someone to complete a small task for me, and I wasn't very satisfied with their communication throughout the process.

Once it was done, I found myself prepared to tip them. I'm like, what are you doing? I had to stop myself and ask , do they deserve a tip? Or is paying them the required amount and NOT giving them a horrible rating enough for them, given the experience?

It's not as if I was offended by them or just completely turned off. They completed the task - ultimately they did a good job, but the overall experience was just BLAH. And I'm not one to complain about everything so if I'm a little turned off, it's for good reason.

So it was just like...why are you about to go above and beyond for them when you feel as if they didn't go above and beyond for you?

:omf:

Fair is fair. Shit. Shift their tip to your savings account.

!!!
I used to find myself tipping just because I didn't want to look like "that Black gorl", but if your service isn't up to snuff then you don't deserve the extra coin.

It's like, why should I care what you think of me, when you didn't think enough of me to provide quality service.

For me a good attitude is key. If things aren't going the best, but your attitude is good and I see you're making a real effort, I'll still tip you.

I've had waiters that were really trying, but the kitchen was fucking up or they were short handed. Sometimes shit is out of your control. I don't think they should be penalized for that.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kalifornia. on October 09, 2018, 12:14:57 PM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:37:53 AM
I tip people of color way higher than whites (and Asians)

Oof

Terrible, I know but I can?t fckn help it

!!!
I do this too.
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: LOONA. on October 09, 2018, 12:15:44 PM
I guess for some people it is but it isn't my reality. Never gonna walk on eggshells or police my blackness to appear a certain way.

If I wanna naw on some fried chicken in the middle of a restaurant I'm gonna do that.     

Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: LOONA. on October 09, 2018, 12:17:07 PM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:29:55 AM
Ok unrelated but related question...do u guys tip food delivery people

Yes

People working those type of jobs pretty much depend on tips.

I usually tip based on the service though. If you do a good job you're gonna get tipped. That's just how I was raised.     

Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Hatsumomo on October 09, 2018, 12:19:11 PM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:29:55 AM
Ok unrelated but related question...do u guys tip food delivery people

n

It's a common courtesy
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 12:22:38 PM
Quote from: The Serpent & The Rainbow on October 09, 2018, 12:19:11 PM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:29:55 AM
Ok unrelated but related question...do u guys tip food delivery people

n

It's a common courtesy
is this what I asked
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: LOONA. on October 09, 2018, 12:36:22 PM
Kae either tip or spread your legs     
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Hatsumomo on October 09, 2018, 12:39:59 PM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 12:22:38 PM
Quote from: The Serpent & The Rainbow on October 09, 2018, 12:19:11 PM
Quote from: Kaeli. on October 09, 2018, 11:29:55 AM
Ok unrelated but related question...do u guys tip food delivery people

n

It's a common courtesy
is this what I asked

Yes I tip.people all the time .. Nice amounts too ..it has a way of coming back to you ..
Title: Re: Black guilt?
Post by: Opposites Attract. on October 09, 2018, 12:45:31 PM
Stereotypes only exists because people allow them too. Black people aren?t the only race who doesn?t tip but we?ve been conditioned to believe so. We?ve been conditioned to believe a lot of stereotypes about Blacks.