Yes. My fam used to bash me daily. Only one who didn't was my mother. I definitely learned to internalize homophobia. I was smart, awkward, feminine, I enjoyed reading & writing and I got lashed often for it. I attempted to adhere to the behaviors of the "standard" Black men within my neighborhood and at school. Being hyper masculine, shunning at femininity, drugs, fights, and sex with girls (lolz).
It really didnt change until I succumbed to my nature a few years after. That in itself was still a journey cause I still disliked certain things about other gay men and these internalizations were the root of it all. I honestly didnt start becoming completely accepting of others and myself until 2-3 years ago. Even still Im still on that journey trying to get those old pieces of myself back. I still have issues speaking in front of other ppl, especially if they look like me because of that environment.
