Honestly overall yes! It's weird because I have so much good going on and I think it outweighs the bad. A great career atm and I'm getting ready to transfer to my dream career field(wish me luck), best physical health I've ever been in my life! Good mental health, family still living and breathing and doing great in Chiraq. Reaching goals, I set out to do etc...
But as I've gotten older, mainly these past 6-8 months I've been peeling back layers of myself as a person and my personality and I don't like what I see a lot of times. Won't go too detailed as to why I've been doing it. But I have severe trust issues with people and humans period and I'm figuring out I'm way to guarded and I don't know how to let go. Shit is so bad I can let one little thing build up and sprial out of control creating a snowball effect and I go over the edge. So many people try to get in to reach me, but the minute I let them put one foot in the doorway, I kick em 20 ft out. It's so draining because I'm alienating friends and family and possible connections etc...I'm pretty sure the root of it, is my sexuality and how I was treated as a kid. II received lots of love actually but it was always those whispers and those snickers about me growing up to be a fagg or sissy and the shaming etc... that made me hide and bury a deep part of myself. Everyone loves me, just as long as their was no signs of a fag. Smh. I'm rambling atm, my bad for the essay lol
