If more black men were upfront with their sexuality, maybe so much of their insecurities wouldn't be placed on people who are clearly and unapologetically proud of who they are, and are proudly rooted in the gay culture. But they feel the need to point out how "gay" someone else is to assure themselves that they are nothing like that, further separating themselves from something that they see as disgraceful, unless it has to do with a dick in their mouth or butthole behind closed doors.
But I cannot blame them for most of the things they do. It all goes back to these standards.