ok so things with the papi building engineer are getting a lil heavy
sfsfsfsfsff
he kinda made his intentions clear - that he's looking for someone to take care of. spend money on, love.
asking me if i've ever been "spoiled" before....
and i had to CHECK myself cuz i was so close to saying some shit like "well yeah, i spoil MYSELF all the time!
"
so quick to make it known how in control i am.
but i kinda had to tap myself on the shoulder and say ..."sis...let's chat for a bit."
like, put the whole "independent womuh! doin it on my own! boss bitch! strong black womuh!" thing away for a second. just a second sis. promise it won't hurt.
this kinda man does NOT care about that. it doesn't matter to him. and that's OK. breathe sis.
just because it doesn't matter to him doesn't mean it doesn't matter at ALL
just sit back and allow this man to lay out his intention and the role he'd like to take if things move forward in peace
without rolling your neck with some "DID U HEAR THAT? GOT MY OWN STUFF! RUNNIN DA SHOW! LOOK @ ME!" mess.
being completely honest with myself - i can actually see myself with someone like him.
slightly older, attractive, more coin, low key.
i'm not stocking my fridge with Lean Cuisine dinners and pulling owt the best version of myself just to end up with some regular okie doke ass nigga.
ssfsfsfsfsffsfsfs
like, keep it real.
i'm already able to love on and enjoy the company of my "equals" , when my gorls come over.
like they are tonight for some pizza wings and games. sfsfsfsfsfsf
i'm totally ok with my man not being my equal. as long as he's UP and not DOWN from me.
we'll see.
