So i met this guy while on vacation and we hit it off right away, sex was amazing too and it honestly felt like we've known each other for a long time meaning we both felt super comfortable around each other and were being all cute and coupleesque.
Anyway I didn't realize how much he was into me until after we met when he started writing me that he basically has fallen in love with me and wants to be with me forever, have children, me moving in with him or vice versa and all that good stuff (or however you wanna view it).
I was super confused and taken aback by this as I was not expecting any of this especially after seeing someone one time but then I thought to myself why not just go along with it as I wouldn't mind having such a cute af boyfriend.
Anyways things started getting weird when he put like a writing of my name (something you may find on google in graffitiish letters) as his display picture on whatsapp. It was super cringey and weird, while I still felt flattered.
The last thing that made me realize this is getting out of hand was when we were just writing each other updating on each others day when I told him I was on my way back from meeting a friend. That's when he was like ,,Why are you going home so late?" and after I repeated that I am now done with my friend 😂 his response was ,,I want you to tell me where you go at all times." I confronted him and told him I'm not here for this toxic shit and he kind of played it off as nothing.
I am very guarded and I barely entertain anybodys shit, so I just need some opinions here. Am I right to read the whole entire thing as a big red flag? Should I just enjoy it for what it was and get far away from this situation now? I thought since we are not in the same city I can just play along for a while and see what happens, but I think people like this might suck you in eventually and you lose yourself. Writing this I feel like I'm one of those naive elderly women falling for guys on their vacations and then being exploited xD
he's basically super clingy and has potential to be very possessive.
however...i have to somewhat hold u accountable here because...
u said in the beginning of ur post that you two were both acting like a couple even though you barely knew one another - after having sex with each other.
i think u may have missed an opportunity to set realistic expectations of where you see this whole thing going and establishing boundaries before you started playing "couple" with him.
so when u saw your name spelled out on his profile ....it made u cringe but it was just yet another instance of him continuing to act as if you two are an official couple of some sort - only in his very romantic, super clingy way.
u may need to just have a very real conversation with him as to where you're at, and really establish those boundaries. don't be shy about expressing , very clearly, what makes you uncomfortable and letting him know a pace/speed that you're comfortable with moving forward.
if you're actually interested in him establish the boundaries and have the convo, if you're not interested, cut him loose so you'll waste no more of his time or your time - and don't stick around out of pity or some feeling of obligation.
Just have a thorough conversation with him about. Maybe he is truly concerned. We have to be realistic ppl be doing shady shit these days.
You dont need to move in with together yet. These niggas be homeless and will use your search for love as a way to find a place to live
Only shortly after meeting you, this nigga said he wants to marry you and have kids with you?
:dead:
Leave his ass, bby. Btw, I can tell by those quotation marks that you live in Germany. You said y'all live in different cities, which cities y'all live in?
Quote from: Lucid Salvatore on February 11, 2022, 09:16:08 PM
Only shortly after meeting you, this nigga said he wants to marry you and have kids with you?
:dead:
Leave his ass, bby. Btw, I can tell by those quotation marks that you live in Germany. You said y'all live in different cities, which cities y'all live in?
Well different countries to be exact. He lives in Barcelona!
Bby this sounds dangerous.
:ohwow:
I would entertain it further since he lives in another fucking country.
What's the worst that can happen?
:cheerup:
Quote from: Amazing on February 11, 2022, 10:58:37 PM
I would entertain it further since he lives in another fucking country.
What's the worst that can happen?
:cheerup:
:dead: Plus he's cute af. But the other replies in this thread got me second guessing.
Why is it people are either non-available emotionally or they wanna move in after 1 date? Is there no in between mess? :plzstop:
Quote from: Mack on February 11, 2022, 10:14:48 PM
Bby this sounds dangerous.
:ohwow:
ya i'm getting stalker vibes. If I disappear, please file a missing persons report. :flamebroiled:
Quote from: tão quente on February 11, 2022, 07:45:44 PM
he's basically super clingy and has potential to be very possessive.
however...i have to somewhat hold u accountable here because...
u said in the beginning of ur post that you two were both acting like a couple even though you barely knew one another - after having sex with each other.
i think u may have missed an opportunity to set realistic expectations of where you see this whole thing going and establishing boundaries before you started playing "couple" with him.
so when u saw your name spelled out on his profile ....it made u cringe but it was just yet another instance of him continuing to act as if you two are an official couple of some sort - only in his very romantic, super clingy way.
u may need to just have a very real conversation with him as to where you're at, and really establish those boundaries. don't be shy about expressing , very clearly, what makes you uncomfortable and letting him know a pace/speed that you're comfortable with moving forward.
if you're actually interested in him establish the boundaries and have the convo, if you're not interested, cut him loose so you'll waste no more of his time or your time - and don't stick around out of pity or some feeling of obligation.
yes afro, i played along too much, honestly because it felt good and although unexpected, his attention and closeness were probably something I was longing for for a while.
I will talk to him tomorrow.
Quote from: Drogon on February 11, 2022, 07:46:18 PM
Just have a thorough conversation with him about. Maybe he is truly concerned. We have to be realistic ppl be doing shady shit these days.
You dont need to move in with together yet. These niggas be homeless and will use your search for love as a way to find a place to live
lol so true. I was wondering if he had some shady motives but the way we met and me definitely reading his behaviour as authentic makes me think otherwise. I think he is just very young (22) and somewhat naive.
Baby doll you are always having man problems. You need to be single for a min and find yourself again.
girl get out while u can
he sounds like a loon
He sounds very controlling and possessive. This can't end well.
He is only 22. You should have the upper hand in the relationship.
Yeah him saying all that shit after meeting once is a red flag.
I'm getting emotionally manipulative vibes from all of this. Don't let the fact that you're super attracted to him physically cloud your judgment sis.
Quote from: Troye on February 11, 2022, 11:39:58 PM
Baby doll you are always having man problems. You need to be single for a min and find yourself again.
yes i do and then i post about it lol but i hadnt had a date date in over a year prior to this. Im comfortable by myself.
Quote from: tão quente on February 11, 2022, 07:45:44 PM
he's basically super clingy and has potential to be very possessive.
however...i have to somewhat hold u accountable here because...
u said in the beginning of ur post that you two were both acting like a couple even though you barely knew one another - after having sex with each other.
i think u may have missed an opportunity to set realistic expectations of where you see this whole thing going and establishing boundaries before you started playing "couple" with him.
so when u saw your name spelled out on his profile ....it made u cringe but it was just yet another instance of him continuing to act as if you two are an official couple of some sort - only in his very romantic, super clingy way.
u may need to just have a very real conversation with him as to where you're at, and really establish those boundaries. don't be shy about expressing , very clearly, what makes you uncomfortable and letting him know a pace/speed that you're comfortable with moving forward.
if you're actually interested in him establish the boundaries and have the convo, if you're not interested, cut him loose so you'll waste no more of his time or your time - and don't stick around out of pity or some feeling of obligation.
As 'Fro said you did kinda enable that early behavior and from the first stage of red flags you should have establish boundaries. But anyways it's not gonna work out cause that's too much in a early stage stage of courting I would have ghost that nigga every since
Quote from: BrandySavedMyLife on February 11, 2022, 11:13:12 PM
Quote from: tão quente on February 11, 2022, 07:45:44 PM
he's basically super clingy and has potential to be very possessive.
however...i have to somewhat hold u accountable here because...
u said in the beginning of ur post that you two were both acting like a couple even though you barely knew one another - after having sex with each other.
i think u may have missed an opportunity to set realistic expectations of where you see this whole thing going and establishing boundaries before you started playing "couple" with him.
so when u saw your name spelled out on his profile ....it made u cringe but it was just yet another instance of him continuing to act as if you two are an official couple of some sort - only in his very romantic, super clingy way.
u may need to just have a very real conversation with him as to where you're at, and really establish those boundaries. don't be shy about expressing , very clearly, what makes you uncomfortable and letting him know a pace/speed that you're comfortable with moving forward.
if you're actually interested in him establish the boundaries and have the convo, if you're not interested, cut him loose so you'll waste no more of his time or your time - and don't stick around out of pity or some feeling of obligation.
yes afro, i played along too much, honestly because it felt good and although unexpected, his attention and closeness were probably something I was longing for for a while.
I will talk to him tomorrow.
i totally understand
u met a nice guy who was handsome and u had a great time with him...its been a while since youve been dating
so i can def see how u coulda fell into the whole "i feel like ive known u my whole life!!! :blush: :blush: :wub: :wub: :wub: " tea
but i think ur kinda snapping out of it now and getting back to reality, while he's still in that space emotionally.
so i'd be gentle with him - whatever you decide to do....because at this point it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to think u are both on the same page in this lovey dovey LaLa land that was created
I would immediately end it by the way. You have to check your self esteem if someone can impress you so quickly. Because he does not know you at all to be loving you like that. He can only love the idea of you. Toss him!
Do you like being controlled and told what to do at all times? If so, stay with him.
He is 22 years old! Tell him to shut the fuck up and get on his fucking knees.
Quote from: Amazing on February 12, 2022, 12:16:55 PM
He is 22 years old! Tell him to shut the fuck up and get on his fucking knees.
he already did and that part was fun lol maybe he liked it too much and is obsessed now
Quote from: Mack on February 12, 2022, 09:55:03 AM
I would immediately end it by the way. You have to check your self esteem if someone can impress you so quickly. Because he does not know you at all to be loving you like that. He can only love the idea of you. Toss him!
i am definitely looking inwards to see if there are some issues like that, but tbh i never felt the same way that he claims he does. It is what it is and i'll end this today, thank you for the advice!
Quote from: Zumbi Dos Palmares on February 12, 2022, 08:20:09 AM
Quote from: BrandySavedMyLife on February 11, 2022, 11:13:12 PM
Quote from: tão quente on February 11, 2022, 07:45:44 PM
he's basically super clingy and has potential to be very possessive.
however...i have to somewhat hold u accountable here because...
u said in the beginning of ur post that you two were both acting like a couple even though you barely knew one another - after having sex with each other.
i think u may have missed an opportunity to set realistic expectations of where you see this whole thing going and establishing boundaries before you started playing "couple" with him.
so when u saw your name spelled out on his profile ....it made u cringe but it was just yet another instance of him continuing to act as if you two are an official couple of some sort - only in his very romantic, super clingy way.
u may need to just have a very real conversation with him as to where you're at, and really establish those boundaries. don't be shy about expressing , very clearly, what makes you uncomfortable and letting him know a pace/speed that you're comfortable with moving forward.
if you're actually interested in him establish the boundaries and have the convo, if you're not interested, cut him loose so you'll waste no more of his time or your time - and don't stick around out of pity or some feeling of obligation.
yes afro, i played along too much, honestly because it felt good and although unexpected, his attention and closeness were probably something I was longing for for a while.
I will talk to him tomorrow.
i totally understand
u met a nice guy who was handsome and u had a great time with him...its been a while since youve been dating
so i can def see how u coulda fell into the whole "i feel like ive known u my whole life!!! :blush: :blush: :wub: :wub: :wub: " tea
but i think ur kinda snapping out of it now and getting back to reality, while he's still in that space emotionally.
so i'd be gentle with him - whatever you decide to do....because at this point it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to think u are both on the same page in this lovey dovey LaLa land that was created
thank you ❤️ Yea when he said I love you today I thought to myself this is it and I just sent him a message saying I like him but it ain't happening and that I'm sorry if i made it seem that way. Nervous about his reaction but glad it's out now.