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Lounge => General Discussion => Topic started by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM

Title: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM
So my longtime friend of over 20yrs. We've been friends since primary school up until lately.
He has a love interest. I'm super happy for him. But all of a sudden all of the guy time and activities we'd do together have been stopped. I have to run behind him to hang and even go to the beach on Sunday. Which might I add had become tradition.

I was away for a good 2 1/2 years. But apparently things have changed. And I even said we can include his lover in everything we do. But my friend wasn't having it.

One Sunday I was asked if we are doing the beach outing. He said he had plans with this guy. I brushed it off and went beach anyways. Low and behold as I'm leaving the beach and they are there as well. How would you feel?

And now he wants too apologize after I've locked him out completely.
What should I do gorls?

:omgwatshappening:
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: 🦚 on October 18, 2017, 04:53:59 PM
 :plzstop: he could?ve at least said they already had plans to go to the beach. Did y?all interact at the beach?  :rthosehotwings:
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Gilgamesh. on October 18, 2017, 04:55:39 PM
The beach thing was shady but apart from that it sounds like maybe you're a little too attached? Just hang with your other friends more.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: GRAND on October 18, 2017, 04:59:52 PM
Yeah you sound too attached
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: ya rock muh world. on October 18, 2017, 05:11:11 PM
You said you were away for 2 1/2 years. It sounds like your friend has adjusted to life without you being a huge part of it. Unfortunately that's what can happen when friends are apart for a long time - especially if you guys did EVERYTHING together.

Don't take it too harshly and remember that he's not obligated to hang out with you, etc. if he doesn't feel like it. I have been best friends with my bestie since we were 15 but I have an understanding that her partner and child are first in her life. That's like her immediate family. I'm a friend. A very good friend but a friend.

She never makes me "feel" as if I am secondary but I just always have that understanding in the back of my mind. Right now it sounds like you "feel" as if you're secondary and being pushed to the side. And it's OK to feel that way. Just focus on making new friends if your old ones seem too busy for you.

Your friend has a man now. This scenario isn't uncommon at all.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Drogon on October 18, 2017, 05:23:29 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM
So my longtime friend of over 20yrs. We've been friends since primary school up until lately.
He has a love interest. I'm super happy for him. But all of a sudden all of the guy time and activities we'd do together have been stopped. I have to run behind him to hang and even go to the beach on Sunday. Which might I add had become tradition.

I was away for a good 2 1/2 years. But apparently things have changed. And I even said we can include his lover in everything we do. But my friend wasn't having it.

One Sunday I was asked if we are doing the beach outing. He said he had plans with this guy. I brushed it off and went beach anyways. Low and behold as I'm leaving the beach and they are there as well. How would you feel?

And now he wants too apologize after I've locked him out completely.
What should I do gorls?

:omgwatshappening:

I am going thru the SAME situation. Me and my friend have been friends since preK

I just stopped worrying about and kept it moving. Life is to short. I see ppl die every day and. I'll be damn if I waste time on anybody not willing to give it in return
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: KING BENTLEY. on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:10:50 PM
Quote from: BardiGang Sle on October 18, 2017, 04:53:59 PM
:plzstop: he could?ve at least said they already had plans to go to the beach. Did y?all interact at the beach?  :rthosehotwings:

I walked away and said nothing.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:14:48 PM
Quote from: Gilgamesh. on October 18, 2017, 04:55:39 PM
The beach thing was shady but apart from that it sounds like maybe you're a little too attached? Just hang with your other friends more.

I'm not too attached
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:16:32 PM
Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:19:05 PM
Quote from: Fall 2017 on October 18, 2017, 05:11:11 PM
You said you were away for 2 1/2 years. It sounds like your friend has adjusted to life without you being a huge part of it. Unfortunately that's what can happen when friends are apart for a long time - especially if you guys did EVERYTHING together.

Don't take it too harshly and remember that he's not obligated to hang out with you, etc. if he doesn't feel like it. I have been best friends with my bestie since we were 15 but I have an understanding that her partner and child are first in her life. That's like her immediate family. I'm a friend. A very good friend but a friend.

She never makes me "feel" as if I am secondary but I just always have that understanding in the back of my mind. Right now it sounds like you "feel" as if you're secondary and being pushed to the side. And it's OK to feel that way. Just focus on making new friends if your old ones seem too busy for you.

Your friend has a man now. This scenario isn't uncommon at all.

That's understandable. But I want my friend back
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:20:15 PM
Quote from: FM on October 18, 2017, 05:23:29 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM
So my longtime friend of over 20yrs. We've been friends since primary school up until lately.
He has a love interest. I'm super happy for him. But all of a sudden all of the guy time and activities we'd do together have been stopped. I have to run behind him to hang and even go to the beach on Sunday. Which might I add had become tradition.

I was away for a good 2 1/2 years. But apparently things have changed. And I even said we can include his lover in everything we do. But my friend wasn't having it.

One Sunday I was asked if we are doing the beach outing. He said he had plans with this guy. I brushed it off and went beach anyways. Low and behold as I'm leaving the beach and they are there as well. How would you feel?

And now he wants too apologize after I've locked him out completely.
What should I do gorls?

:omgwatshappening:

I am going thru the SAME situation. Me and my friend have been friends since preK

I just stopped worrying about and kept it moving. Life is to short. I see ppl die every day and. I'll be damn if I waste time on anybody not willing to give it in return


That's exactly how I feel.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:21:53 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 09:47:46 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:21:53 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not

I think thats so weird. I know it happens but why cant people just be friends and thats it. Why yall always fuckin people.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 09:51:37 PM
I think you have "other" types of feelings and still want to fuck him. Regular besties dont fuck a couple times sorry. Then wanna be all up in their mix "we can do our bestie date night stuff and oh! your boyfriend can tag along too! no prob! hehe" like what the world.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Gilgamesh. on October 18, 2017, 09:55:07 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 09:51:37 PM
I think you have "other" types of feelings and still want to fuck him. Regular besties dont fuck a couple times sorry. Then wanna be all up in their mix "we can do our bestie date night stuff and oh! your boyfriend can tag along too! no prob! hehe" like what the world.

AND then becoming friends with the new bae on Grindr

:udontlookok:
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: KING BENTLEY. on October 18, 2017, 09:57:39 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:21:53 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not
oh now see .. no MA'AM

I got to be honest. you got to back ALL the way off when he's in relationships or relationship type situations

I've dealt with the other side of that and it's not really cool. gay or str8 really

cause they are trying to build something, even if it was causal, yawl still went further than a ki'ki
.... if I'm in a relationship, and I'm going to be interacting with an ex or somebody you've fckd with, I need the courtesy of knowing, so I know how to plan accordingly
that means no private beach walks, maybe a dinner, and quality time means yawl can be in a group

I've caught assault charges over mess similar to this
yea .. He was his "buddy" until they got a lil too drunk one night
the rest of the story is now public record
(https://media.giphy.com/media/l4JyYeTh0W3qMfT0s/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 10:01:59 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 09:57:39 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:21:53 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not
.... if I'm in a relationship, and I'm going to be interacting with an ex or somebody you've fckd with, I need the courtesy of knowing, so I know how to plan accordingly

yea that's mad greasy.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Onika on October 18, 2017, 10:02:29 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:16:32 PM
Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.

My advice: delete that friend on Grindr. You seem like a nice person but if I was your bestfriend and I found out that you and the boyfriend were talking about me behind me back on GRINDR of all places. It just seems very shady.

Also, I've never heard of best friends that fuck each other. Did you guys regularly have sex? Was it a friends with benefits type thing.

I agree with Afro. It seems like you and your friend need to sit and talk about boundries and stuff. I know how it feels to be friends with someone for years and then suddenly acting as if we don't know each other when walking past each other in public. It sucks.

Good luck to you and your bestfriend.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: fedswatchin on October 18, 2017, 10:16:41 PM
Quote from: FM on October 18, 2017, 05:23:29 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM
So my longtime friend of over 20yrs. We've been friends since primary school up until lately.
He has a love interest. I'm super happy for him. But all of a sudden all of the guy time and activities we'd do together have been stopped. I have to run behind him to hang and even go to the beach on Sunday. Which might I add had become tradition.

I was away for a good 2 1/2 years. But apparently things have changed. And I even said we can include his lover in everything we do. But my friend wasn't having it.

One Sunday I was asked if we are doing the beach outing. He said he had plans with this guy. I brushed it off and went beach anyways. Low and behold as I'm leaving the beach and they are there as well. How would you feel?

And now he wants too apologize after I've locked him out completely.
What should I do gorls?

:omgwatshappening:

I am going thru the SAME situation. Me and my friend have been friends since preK

I just stopped worrying about and kept it moving. Life is to short. I see ppl die every day and. I'll be damn if I waste time on anybody not willing to give it in return
Why do you think your friend is avoiding you and cutting off all contact? Do you think he doesn't like you anymore?
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 10:20:17 PM
The friend probably told the lover that he used to fuck threadstarter and the lover expressed concern, so the friend is probably creating more distance to appease
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: KING BENTLEY. on October 18, 2017, 10:24:00 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 10:20:17 PM
The friend probably told the lover that he used to fuck threadstarter and the lover expressed concern, so the friend is probably creating more distance to appease
!!!!!!!!!

that's why it's so important for gays to learn how to be friends ONLY, even when horny :dead:
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Navyman on October 19, 2017, 12:45:58 AM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:16:32 PM
Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.
Ch...this is shady as fuck
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Navyman on October 19, 2017, 12:48:35 AM
Quote from: Gilgamesh. on October 18, 2017, 09:55:07 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 09:51:37 PM
I think you have "other" types of feelings and still want to fuck him. Regular besties dont fuck a couple times sorry. Then wanna be all up in their mix "we can do our bestie date night stuff and oh! your boyfriend can tag along too! no prob! hehe" like what the world.

AND then becoming friends with the new bae on Grindr

:udontlookok:
On fucking Grindr, and then y'all discussing issues if the relationship
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Navyman on October 19, 2017, 12:50:26 AM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 09:57:39 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:21:53 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not
oh now see .. no MA'AM

I got to be honest. you got to back ALL the way off when he's in relationships or relationship type situations

I've dealt with the other side of that and it's not really cool. gay or str8 really

cause they are trying to build something, even if it was causal, yawl still went further than a ki'ki
.... if I'm in a relationship, and I'm going to be interacting with an ex or somebody you've fckd with, I need the courtesy of knowing, so I know how to plan accordingly
that means no private beach walks, maybe a dinner, and quality time means yawl can be in a group

I've caught assault charges over mess similar to this
yea .. He was his "buddy" until they got a lil too drunk one night
the rest of the story is now public record
(https://media.giphy.com/media/l4JyYeTh0W3qMfT0s/giphy.gif)
I don't play that shit, please don't blindside me like that.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: KING BENTLEY. on October 19, 2017, 02:08:05 AM
!!!!!!!!!!
Right!

?Oh this is just my friend?
Ok so yawl hanging out spending quality time together
Then Months later you tell me yawl used to fck?
:diddraispoot:

fckn WWIII ... get ready
(https://realwordsbyvylettecom-files-wordpress-com.cdn.ampproject.org/i/s/realwordsbyvylettecom.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/soul_food_film_teri_pulls_a_knife_on_miles.jpg)
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Kaeli. on October 19, 2017, 02:14:41 AM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:16:32 PM
Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.
fjjjjjjalksd

um well if he's still active on a damn sex app he clearly don't want ur friend no shade

just wait til their lil relationship boils over

OR if u wanna be messy and get the ball rolling...tell ur friend u saw him on grindr
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: FlowerBomb on October 19, 2017, 02:53:44 AM
Yawl just legit wasted your time
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Blackpantha on October 19, 2017, 02:57:39 AM
Okay I'll back off. But he still wants to apologize.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: b7 on October 19, 2017, 03:52:04 AM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:16:32 PM
Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.
n

What

:mmyulost:
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: b7 on October 19, 2017, 03:53:52 AM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:19:05 PM
Quote from: Fall 2017 on October 18, 2017, 05:11:11 PM
You said you were away for 2 1/2 years. It sounds like your friend has adjusted to life without you being a huge part of it. Unfortunately that's what can happen when friends are apart for a long time - especially if you guys did EVERYTHING together.

Don't take it too harshly and remember that he's not obligated to hang out with you, etc. if he doesn't feel like it. I have been best friends with my bestie since we were 15 but I have an understanding that her partner and child are first in her life. That's like her immediate family. I'm a friend. A very good friend but a friend.

She never makes me "feel" as if I am secondary but I just always have that understanding in the back of my mind. Right now it sounds like you "feel" as if you're secondary and being pushed to the side. And it's OK to feel that way. Just focus on making new friends if your old ones seem too busy for you.

Your friend has a man now. This scenario isn't uncommon at all.

That's understandable. But I want my friend back
yea ur too attached :dead: didn?t read a word Afro said :kii:

?Mhmm yea, ok... still want my friend to be mine lmao! ?
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: b7 on October 19, 2017, 04:02:39 AM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:21:53 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not
girl
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: b7 on October 19, 2017, 04:03:16 AM
Quote from: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 09:51:37 PM
I think you have "other" types of feelings and still want to fuck him. Regular besties dont fuck a couple times sorry. Then wanna be all up in their mix "we can do our bestie date night stuff and oh! your boyfriend can tag along too! no prob! hehe" like what the world.
im over here crying I kid you damn not
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: b7 on October 19, 2017, 04:03:41 AM
Quote from: Gilgamesh. on October 18, 2017, 09:55:07 PM
Quote from: L0NZ. on October 18, 2017, 09:51:37 PM
I think you have "other" types of feelings and still want to fuck him. Regular besties dont fuck a couple times sorry. Then wanna be all up in their mix "we can do our bestie date night stuff and oh! your boyfriend can tag along too! no prob! hehe" like what the world.

AND then becoming friends with the new bae on Grindr

:udontlookok:
bitch  :kii:

This sealed the deal for me
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: wizzy on October 19, 2017, 10:47:00 AM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:16:32 PM
Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.
:dead:
to think i felt bad for ur sitch when i first tipped in
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Eternal Bell on October 19, 2017, 11:21:42 AM
Quote from: 1RIG on October 19, 2017, 03:52:04 AM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:16:32 PM
Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.
n

What

:mmyulost:
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbr
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: Opposites Attract. on October 19, 2017, 11:22:08 AM
n

Now even this is low for my Thot ass. I would absolutely never.
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: FlowerBomb on October 19, 2017, 11:22:59 AM
 :nowgorl:
Title: Re: Why do I even bother?
Post by: KING BENTLEY. on October 19, 2017, 12:07:44 PM
 :plzstop: :plzstop: :plzstop: :plzstop: :plzstop: :plzstop: