Why do I even bother?

Started by Blackpantha, October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Blackpantha

So my longtime friend of over 20yrs. We've been friends since primary school up until lately.
He has a love interest. I'm super happy for him. But all of a sudden all of the guy time and activities we'd do together have been stopped. I have to run behind him to hang and even go to the beach on Sunday. Which might I add had become tradition.

I was away for a good 2 1/2 years. But apparently things have changed. And I even said we can include his lover in everything we do. But my friend wasn't having it.

One Sunday I was asked if we are doing the beach outing. He said he had plans with this guy. I brushed it off and went beach anyways. Low and behold as I'm leaving the beach and they are there as well. How would you feel?

And now he wants too apologize after I've locked him out completely.
What should I do gorls?

:omgwatshappening:
PROUD AFROCARIBBEAN KING
I LOVE MY BIG LIPS
MY STRONG NOSE
I LOVE ALL OF ME

🦚

 :plzstop: he could?ve at least said they already had plans to go to the beach. Did y?all interact at the beach?  :rthosehotwings:
Hear 'em swarmin', right? (Zz) 🐝 🐝  is known to bite (Zz, zz)
——————///——————-
https://justiceforbreonna.org/

Gilgamesh.

The beach thing was shady but apart from that it sounds like maybe you're a little too attached? Just hang with your other friends more.

GRAND


Nine

Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

ya rock muh world.

You said you were away for 2 1/2 years. It sounds like your friend has adjusted to life without you being a huge part of it. Unfortunately that's what can happen when friends are apart for a long time - especially if you guys did EVERYTHING together.

Don't take it too harshly and remember that he's not obligated to hang out with you, etc. if he doesn't feel like it. I have been best friends with my bestie since we were 15 but I have an understanding that her partner and child are first in her life. That's like her immediate family. I'm a friend. A very good friend but a friend.

She never makes me "feel" as if I am secondary but I just always have that understanding in the back of my mind. Right now it sounds like you "feel" as if you're secondary and being pushed to the side. And it's OK to feel that way. Just focus on making new friends if your old ones seem too busy for you.

Your friend has a man now. This scenario isn't uncommon at all.


Drogon

October 18, 2017, 05:23:29 PM #6 Last Edit: October 18, 2017, 05:26:03 PM by FM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM
So my longtime friend of over 20yrs. We've been friends since primary school up until lately.
He has a love interest. I'm super happy for him. But all of a sudden all of the guy time and activities we'd do together have been stopped. I have to run behind him to hang and even go to the beach on Sunday. Which might I add had become tradition.

I was away for a good 2 1/2 years. But apparently things have changed. And I even said we can include his lover in everything we do. But my friend wasn't having it.

One Sunday I was asked if we are doing the beach outing. He said he had plans with this guy. I brushed it off and went beach anyways. Low and behold as I'm leaving the beach and they are there as well. How would you feel?

And now he wants too apologize after I've locked him out completely.
What should I do gorls?

:omgwatshappening:

I am going thru the SAME situation. Me and my friend have been friends since preK

I just stopped worrying about and kept it moving. Life is to short. I see ppl die every day and. I'll be damn if I waste time on anybody not willing to give it in return

KING BENTLEY.

Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

H.#.G.*.Z

Blackpantha

Quote from: BardiGang Sle on October 18, 2017, 04:53:59 PM
:plzstop: he could?ve at least said they already had plans to go to the beach. Did y?all interact at the beach?  :rthosehotwings:

I walked away and said nothing.
PROUD AFROCARIBBEAN KING
I LOVE MY BIG LIPS
MY STRONG NOSE
I LOVE ALL OF ME

Blackpantha

Quote from: Gilgamesh. on October 18, 2017, 04:55:39 PM
The beach thing was shady but apart from that it sounds like maybe you're a little too attached? Just hang with your other friends more.

I'm not too attached
PROUD AFROCARIBBEAN KING
I LOVE MY BIG LIPS
MY STRONG NOSE
I LOVE ALL OF ME

Blackpantha

Quote from: Nine on October 18, 2017, 05:09:36 PM
Pay him dust. Then laugh at him when he comes crawling back after they break up.

Me and the boyfriend became friends on "Grindr" a couple days ago. He said they are having issues.
PROUD AFROCARIBBEAN KING
I LOVE MY BIG LIPS
MY STRONG NOSE
I LOVE ALL OF ME

Blackpantha

Quote from: Fall 2017 on October 18, 2017, 05:11:11 PM
You said you were away for 2 1/2 years. It sounds like your friend has adjusted to life without you being a huge part of it. Unfortunately that's what can happen when friends are apart for a long time - especially if you guys did EVERYTHING together.

Don't take it too harshly and remember that he's not obligated to hang out with you, etc. if he doesn't feel like it. I have been best friends with my bestie since we were 15 but I have an understanding that her partner and child are first in her life. That's like her immediate family. I'm a friend. A very good friend but a friend.

She never makes me "feel" as if I am secondary but I just always have that understanding in the back of my mind. Right now it sounds like you "feel" as if you're secondary and being pushed to the side. And it's OK to feel that way. Just focus on making new friends if your old ones seem too busy for you.

Your friend has a man now. This scenario isn't uncommon at all.

That's understandable. But I want my friend back
PROUD AFROCARIBBEAN KING
I LOVE MY BIG LIPS
MY STRONG NOSE
I LOVE ALL OF ME

Blackpantha

Quote from: FM on October 18, 2017, 05:23:29 PM
Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 04:49:27 PM
So my longtime friend of over 20yrs. We've been friends since primary school up until lately.
He has a love interest. I'm super happy for him. But all of a sudden all of the guy time and activities we'd do together have been stopped. I have to run behind him to hang and even go to the beach on Sunday. Which might I add had become tradition.

I was away for a good 2 1/2 years. But apparently things have changed. And I even said we can include his lover in everything we do. But my friend wasn't having it.

One Sunday I was asked if we are doing the beach outing. He said he had plans with this guy. I brushed it off and went beach anyways. Low and behold as I'm leaving the beach and they are there as well. How would you feel?

And now he wants too apologize after I've locked him out completely.
What should I do gorls?

:omgwatshappening:

I am going thru the SAME situation. Me and my friend have been friends since preK

I just stopped worrying about and kept it moving. Life is to short. I see ppl die every day and. I'll be damn if I waste time on anybody not willing to give it in return


That's exactly how I feel.
PROUD AFROCARIBBEAN KING
I LOVE MY BIG LIPS
MY STRONG NOSE
I LOVE ALL OF ME

Blackpantha

Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not
PROUD AFROCARIBBEAN KING
I LOVE MY BIG LIPS
MY STRONG NOSE
I LOVE ALL OF ME

L0NZ.

Quote from: Blackpantha on October 18, 2017, 09:21:53 PM
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on October 18, 2017, 05:32:31 PM
Most important thing first,
Have yawl always just friends, any extra feelings going on?



Depending on the answer it?s got to be a two way street. It?s different with gays and friends. Because friends are seen as potential interests that hold a special place in their man?s heart.

You should listen to his apology and just have a long sit down to discuss expectations and boundaries.

Just friends... Well we fucked a couple times. And did threesomes and what not

I think thats so weird. I know it happens but why cant people just be friends and thats it. Why yall always fuckin people.