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Lounge => General Discussion => Topic started by: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:13:31 AM

Title: Advice please.
Post by: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:13:31 AM
I've been dating this guy since July and we've finally made it official. We're both in love. But I find myself being very distant from him and it's only because my guards are up extremely, mainly due to past hurts from several men. It's like he's showing me the attention that I've always craved and doing things that no other guy has ever done for me Always compliments me, checks on me and appreciates me.  He even said that I'm very nonchalant :dead:. Which I am. I'm not exactly a warm and fuzzy person.

But I'm VERY scared. I've been single for so long, so it's hard to adjust being with someone else and compromising with someone when I'm so USED to doing shit JUST FOR ME and not worrying about how any person will feel. You know how you want something and once you get it, you're afraid? That's me.
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:18:34 AM
Jameesha gorl
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:19:04 AM
Quote from: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:18:34 AM
Jameesha gorl
Lmao the book is almost finished
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Buy The Stars✨ on December 09, 2017, 02:19:08 AM
I told you Scottie if you feel a certain way don?t voice it on the board just come to me and let me know ... i can tell you?re distant but know that I?ll do what i can for you and I?ll always fight for you till those wallsof yours break down... now come to bed  beautiful 
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:19:44 AM
Quote from: TEXASbama on December 09, 2017, 02:19:08 AM
I told you Scottie if you feel a certain way don?t voice it on the board just come to me and let me know ... i can tell you?re distant but know that I?ll do what i can for you and I?ll always fight for you till those wallsof yours break down... now come to bed  beautiful
:ummwhat:
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:21:24 AM
And you might let something good go away because you are clinging to the past and what other men did. Stop the madness love!
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:23:05 AM
Quote from: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:21:24 AM
And you might let something good go away because you are clinging to the past and what other men did. Stop the madness love!
It's like I'm always prepared for the bullshit. I'm just waiting for it :dead: So you're right.
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:25:19 AM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:23:05 AM
Quote from: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:21:24 AM
And you might let something good go away because you are clinging to the past and what other men did. Stop the madness love!
It's like I'm always prepared for the bullshit. I'm just waiting for it :dead: So you're right.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and this man is preventing me from having my book at the moment  :plzstop: :plzstop: :plzstop: :plzstop:

you know I love and support you bby  :wub:
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Young on December 09, 2017, 02:38:57 AM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:13:31 AM
I've been dating this guy since July and we've finally made it official. We're both in love. But I find myself being very distant from him and it's only because my guards are up extremely, mainly due to past hurts from several men. It's like he's showing me the attention that I've always craved and doing things that no other guy has ever done for me Always compliments me, checks on me and appreciates me.  He even said that I'm very nonchalant :dead:. Which I am. I'm not exactly a warm and fuzzy person.

But I'm VERY scared. I've been single for so long, so it's hard to adjust being with someone else and compromising with someone when I'm so USED to doing shit JUST FOR ME and not worrying about how any person will feel. You know how you want something and once you get it, you're afraid? That's me.

Hun....

If God has given you exactly what you asked for then why not  live and relish in your blessing . It sounds like you have exactly what you?ve been looking for sis . Snap out of it . Love is REAL, and it sounds like it?s right  in front of you . We?ve talked about things in the past privately and this sounds like something totally different from those experiences .

Fall into this blessing sis. Sounds like you got a real One .
Don?t be afraid anymore . Live in the moment and bring down those guards . The feeling you want to have in love can happen if you give into it . I understand why its taking you time to warm up fully. And that?s smart that you held out and kind stood back a bit . But now it?s time for the next step .  Sounds like 2018 can be AMAZING for you if you let it  :wub: ;-)
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Buy The Stars✨ on December 09, 2017, 03:06:27 AM
Seriously though sis i feel you i been there.  I say get out of your own way.  I have lost a guy that i was very in love with  before cause he was just like you afraid to let me in because of some douche from the past. I would hate to see you lose out on someone great.  You cannot judge someone based of of another guy it?s not fair to do that to a guy who is good to you. If you let this stop you i promise you will regret it forever. 
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: GRAND on December 09, 2017, 07:48:10 AM
Tell him exactly what you wrote here.

Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 08:19:53 AM
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on December 09, 2017, 07:48:10 AM
Tell him exactly what you wrote here.
l did. His ass is understanding af
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 08:20:25 AM
Quote from: Young on December 09, 2017, 02:38:57 AM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:13:31 AM
I've been dating this guy since July and we've finally made it official. We're both in love. But I find myself being very distant from him and it's only because my guards are up extremely, mainly due to past hurts from several men. It's like he's showing me the attention that I've always craved and doing things that no other guy has ever done for me Always compliments me, checks on me and appreciates me.  He even said that I'm very nonchalant :dead:. Which I am. I'm not exactly a warm and fuzzy person.

But I'm VERY scared. I've been single for so long, so it's hard to adjust being with someone else and compromising with someone when I'm so USED to doing shit JUST FOR ME and not worrying about how any person will feel. You know how you want something and once you get it, you're afraid? That's me.

Hun....

If God has given you exactly what you asked for then why not  live and relish in your blessing . It sounds like you have exactly what you?ve been looking for sis . Snap out of it . Love is REAL, and it sounds like it?s right  in front of you . We?ve talked about things in the past privately and this sounds like something totally different from those experiences .

Fall into this blessing sis. Sounds like you got a real One .
Don?t be afraid anymore . Live in the moment and bring down those guards . The feeling you want to have in love can happen if you give into it . I understand why its taking you time to warm up fully. And that?s smart that you held out and kind stood back a bit . But now it?s time for the next step .  Sounds like 2018 can be AMAZING for you if you let it  :wub: ;-)
love you.
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: ya rock muh world. on December 09, 2017, 09:11:21 AM
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0M8ggjD7M5R

:wub:
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: L0NZ. on December 09, 2017, 10:53:20 AM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:23:05 AM
Quote from: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:21:24 AM
And you might let something good go away because you are clinging to the past and what other men did. Stop the madness love!
It's like I'm always prepared for the bullshit. I'm just waiting for it :dead: So you're right.

I mean you pack an umbrella on a cloudy day just in case, but you still fuckin go out and enjoy the day.

Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Young on December 09, 2017, 10:55:10 AM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 08:20:25 AM
Quote from: Young on December 09, 2017, 02:38:57 AM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:13:31 AM
I've been dating this guy since July and we've finally made it official. We're both in love. But I find myself being very distant from him and it's only because my guards are up extremely, mainly due to past hurts from several men. It's like he's showing me the attention that I've always craved and doing things that no other guy has ever done for me Always compliments me, checks on me and appreciates me.  He even said that I'm very nonchalant :dead:. Which I am. I'm not exactly a warm and fuzzy person.

But I'm VERY scared. I've been single for so long, so it's hard to adjust being with someone else and compromising with someone when I'm so USED to doing shit JUST FOR ME and not worrying about how any person will feel. You know how you want something and once you get it, you're afraid? That's me.

Hun....

If God has given you exactly what you asked for then why not  live and relish in your blessing . It sounds like you have exactly what you?ve been looking for sis . Snap out of it . Love is REAL, and it sounds like it?s right  in front of you . We?ve talked about things in the past privately and this sounds like something totally different from those experiences .

Fall into this blessing sis. Sounds like you got a real One .
Don?t be afraid anymore . Live in the moment and bring down those guards . The feeling you want to have in love can happen if you give into it . I understand why its taking you time to warm up fully. And that?s smart that you held out and kind stood back a bit . But now it?s time for the next step .  Sounds like 2018 can be AMAZING for you if you let it  :wub: ;-)
love you.

Love you too ! Happy for you !
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Lazarus on December 09, 2017, 11:00:15 AM
Don't overthink it. Embrace it all. Everybody doesn't have a hidden agenda or is out to hurt you Scotty. Continue to let things flourish and progress between you two.
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: LOONA. on December 09, 2017, 01:20:10 PM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:13:31 AMand it's only because my guards are up extremely, mainly due to past hurts from several men.

h

You need to let that go before you end up chasing a good man away.

     

Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Rxxf on December 09, 2017, 01:24:27 PM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:13:31 AM
I've been dating this guy since July and we've finally made it official. We're both in love. But I find myself being very distant from him and it's only because my guards are up extremely, mainly due to past hurts from several men. It's like he's showing me the attention that I've always craved and doing things that no other guy has ever done for me Always compliments me, checks on me and appreciates me.  He even said that I'm very nonchalant :dead:. Which I am. I'm not exactly a warm and fuzzy person.

But I'm VERY scared. I've been single for so long, so it's hard to adjust being with someone else and compromising with someone when I'm so USED to doing shit JUST FOR ME and not worrying about how any person will feel. You know how you want something and once you get it, you're afraid? That's me.

You dating someone else other than me?
:ohwow:
Uh, ok.
:wub:

Follow your heart and mind. They DO work in TANDEM.
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: Gekkouga on December 09, 2017, 01:47:55 PM
Don't be so afraid of failure lol

If it doesn't go as planned, too bad! You'll find another one eventually.

All this insecurity and anticipation for discovering skeletons in other people's closets will make you lose your fcking mind over tiny/pointless stuff. It is extremely tiring when someone is always suspicious of every goddamn move you make.

Just enjoy the ride hun, if it lasts it lasts.
Title: Re: Advice please.
Post by: KING BENTLEY. on December 09, 2017, 03:54:07 PM
Quote from: Aa. on December 09, 2017, 10:53:20 AM
Quote from: Scott. on December 09, 2017, 02:23:05 AM
Quote from: MelMel on December 09, 2017, 02:21:24 AM
And you might let something good go away because you are clinging to the past and what other men did. Stop the madness love!
It's like I'm always prepared for the bullshit. I'm just waiting for it :dead: So you're right.

I mean you pack an umbrella on a cloudy day just in case, but you still fuckin go out and enjoy the day.


you so damn wise bby!!!

THIS ... I'm to the point, I'm tired of the game, you have flaws, I have flaws ... I'm not gonna wreck my brain sitting and thinking of shit you might do to fck it up, cause it might end up making me do something fck it up. that mindset was so exhausting :dead:

but yea Scott, you gotta let that guard down. You seem to think he's a great guy, loving and treats you right. So you have to think about it in reverse... doesn't he deserve the same?

you can be that, just let go a little at a time.