Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.
and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.
