At this point, chaos swirling, we move into the bathroom. Perching on the edge of the shower,
she explains that the delays around Ctrl were because of a kind of blinding paralysis brought on by anxiety, which affects her ?awfully?. ?I freestyle everything, all the way down. And I listen back and think, what?s ****ty? And if something?s too ****ty and I can?t put my finger on it, and I think, wow this sucks to me, then I get way frustrated, and usually scrap the song.? She says that?s what happened with Ctrl. That, and the fact that she gets lost on tangents too easily. She says her mother has always complained about her loose sense of time. ?Everyone I?ve ever dated have been complaining about that. ?What? I haven?t seen you in three days, relax!? They?re like, ?I haven?t seen you in six months, what are you talking about?? But that?s just the way it is.?
Eventually, Rowe explains, Ctrl came out in June because ?they cut me off?. So who decided it was finished? ?They just took my hard drive from me. That was all. I just kept ****ing everything up. I just kept moving **** around. I was choosing from 150, 200 songs, so I?m just like, who knows what?s good any more?? She doesn?t know who took it, just that it was gone from the safe in the studio one day. So after all that, this Ctrl isn?t necessarily the Ctrl you would have put out? ?No, absolutely not. Any longer and I probably wouldn?t ? I?m also driving myself ****ing crazy, so I don?t know. Give me another month and it would have been something completely different.? However, she doesn?t think we?ll have to wait so long for the follow-up. ?No! I have less anxiety about the things that hindered me putting this album out, so I?ll probably be done in the next six months.? On the next one, she wants to look outwards instead of in, and write about the world. ?The woorrrrld,? she whispers, conspiratorially. ?Other people. I feel like we?re all connected anyway.?
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/jul/29/sza-record-company-took-my-hard-drive-beyonce-kendrick-lamar
