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[Kurama]

I see what Yummy's getting at - even down to the traditional wedding and mess.
A ceremony originally built for a bride and groom.

It kinda boggles me. Your union isn't "traditional", why should your wedding be?

But I always consider that maybe that's their dream mess. I dunno.

Right, and a lot of that traces back to my other point of self validation. A lot of gays are so desperate for acceptance and spend too much worrying about being seen as ?normal?.

You?re a faggot, they will never see you as their equal. Get over it and get on with your life.

!!!!!

Not trying to derail but this is a parallel between Blacks & Whites. Or any subgroup with the dominant group tbh.

[yummy]

And another thing, I?m tired of seeing fags whining bout other folks? preferences. You?re not going to guilt or shame anyone into finding you attractive. Maybe that person is dealing with some shallowness or self hate issues, but quit acting like you actually care about that and aren?t really just upset that the sexual attraction isn?t recriprocated.

[Young]

And we should probably stop viewing queer relationships under a heteronormative lens or emulating some outdated nuclear family structure.

Can you expound a bit on this?

Well, I?ve never been gung-ho about the notion that marriage and children should be something that EVERYONE should aspire to partake in. And relationship oriented fags love to assume that someone who is single or prefers to date around is promiscuous or having sex with multiple partners because of some past trauma. And I think it has a lot to do with some gays idolizing heterosexual relationships and wanting to live up some false standard of normalcy.

I get what you mean to an extent. And that's true-- not everyone cares to have kids, get married etc.
Which is totally fine.
But are you also saying you don't believe it's true at all?-- to have a successful life-long lasting gay/same-sex relationship regardless of the specificities of how they operate?

[Young]

Yummy is probably talking about how gays (white/black/etc) get into the whole "Top/Bottom" and using as gender roles.
Like the Male and Female relationship. Trying to emulate heterosexual archetypes.

This too...but I don?t wanna dictate how other people exist in their relationships. If you and your partner are comfortable with roles then more power to the both of you, but don?t expect everyone else to be on that.

Hmmm...I see what you mean

[yummy]

And we should probably stop viewing queer relationships under a heteronormative lens or emulating some outdated nuclear family structure.

Can you expound a bit on this?

Well, I?ve never been gung-ho about the notion that marriage and children should be something that EVERYONE should aspire to partake in. And relationship oriented fags love to assume that someone who is single or prefers to date around is promiscuous or having sex with multiple partners because of some past trauma. And I think it has a lot to do with some gays idolizing heterosexual relationships and wanting to live up some false standard of normalcy.

I get what you mean to an extent. And that's true-- not everyone cares to have kids, get married etc.
Which is totally fine.
But are you also saying you don't believe it's true at all?-- to have a successful life-long lasting gay/same-sex relationship regardless of the specificities of how they operate?

Of course not, I know a lot of gay couple in long term relationships. I just don?t think everyone is emotionally equipped for it.

[Kurama]

 almost there guys

[Young]

And another thing, I?m tired of seeing fags whining bout other folks? preferences. You?re not going to guilt or shame anyone into finding you attractive. Maybe that person is dealing with some shallowness or self hate issues, but quit acting like you actually care about that and aren?t really just upset that the sexual attraction isn?t recriprocated.

dssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

This is true too--if you aint cute, you might wanna work on that

But gorls the community as a whole is SHALLOW

[Young]

So where is the line drawn?

Are the gorls okay with pedophilia a bit--as long as it isn't too edgy? What?

Are the gorls okay with having sponsors and people take care of them in exchange for giving booch and mess? I don't think this is a "Gay" issue, some people want less for themselves.

Are the gorls okay with Grindr being so sexually driven and hard to find someone to actually DATE? Yes because that's the purpose of the app. Ain't no one looking for their forever on Grindr - I hope.


I mean--do gays even believe REAL gay love (and the like) can exist? Yes. However, I think Men in general don't put relationships as priority or life goal the way women do. I also think a lot of Gay men use their sexuality as an excuse for a lack of commitment.

Are we okay with the level of perversion circling around the community (and culture as a whole of course) and how we've almost become desensitized to it? Can't relate cause y'all Americans are on some other ish.


Do we believe that two same-sex parents can successfully raise a sane, happy, and productive member of society? A family? Yes but I personally wouldn't want to raise a child without a strong female influence.


Are we happy with the community as a whole? Again, the UK scene is different but I think it's gotten a lot better. I think the younger generation here are more conscious of their actions and have sense of fearlessness that my generation (30+) lacked.

Beautiful input.

I felt like the topic was getting diluted a bit into a "gay love! vs Str8 love!" thing--when what spun this topic originally was because the community is a fckn mess. flat tf OWT.


I'm just trying to get a better understanding as to why that is.

[BAPHOMET.]

 

[FlowerBomb]

I like what Bre said a while ago about black and brown men needing to lie to survive, lying to themselves, peer groups, family, friends ect about who they are, it becomes 2nd nature to them, and it sometimes is the reason why romantic relationships break down

[Young]

I like what Bre said a while ago about black and brown men needing lie to survive, lying to themselves, peer groups, family, friends ect about who they are, it becomes 2nd nature to them, and it sometimes is the reasons why romantic relationships break down

woah

Now you hit on some mess for sure

[BrokenHeartsHeal]

vvvvvvvv

I just look at the community and my heart is in shambles

Truly . Maybe it?s because I hopelessly just wish and want more for us.
But I dunno maybe I?m very unrealistic

Also could mean that you envy these gorls 

[Young]

And I do find it interesting when Black people don't really prefer their own kind

But as long as they're not purposely doing some "HEAR YE HEAR YE!!!!" mess to announce it....

To each his own.

This is just my personal thought-- but I don't think anyone should ever "prefer" someone outside of their race.
With that being said having no preference at all is totally fine.

[Young]

vvvvvvvv

I just look at the community and my heart is in shambles

Truly . Maybe it?s because I hopelessly just wish and want more for us.
But I dunno maybe I?m very unrealistic

Also could mean that you envy these gorls 

envy who?

[Young]

And I do find it interesting when Black people don't really prefer their own kind

But as long as they're not purposely doing some "HEAR YE HEAR YE!!!!" mess to announce it....

To each his own.

This is just my personal thought-- but I don't think anyone should ever "prefer" someone outside of their race.
With that being said having no preference at all is totally fine.

Agreed.

I find beauty in all men - Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, whatever. But there's just something about a Black man that feels like home.

Always will.

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