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[Mel.]

Ok, I'm currently in a dilemma...
a family member of mine recently passed and idk if I should attend the funeral
here's the thing, we're sorta estranged and haven't spoken in well over 5 years...
and the reason being is we had a big argument and she said some things that were very hurtful
fast-forward to today, idk if I should go or it's even the right thing to do
I haven't even spoken to her kids (my cousins) since then either because I felt they sided with her
anyways, idk what to do. How do I show up after all this time of not speaking? I feel weird
I'm having anxiety about it, on one hand I would like to go
and on the other, idk if I should....

does that make me a bad person?

[LOONA.]

Don't go

Its about your feelings...not theirs   

[Kalifornia.]

Honestly no it doesn't, especially if you know the energy might be weird if you go. 

I most likely wouldn't go either. Funerals can be so draining. I know people that don't do them at all. Even for people with whom they were on good terms. 

Besides, she's already gone. The funeral is more for the loved ones. 

[Ulysses]

Go. It's not about you. It's about being there for the ones who were close to them and offering your support

[Vonc2002]

I've not gone to numerous family members funeral but a nigga like me aint worried about if someone think it's mean or how it comes off either,  so my thoughts might be skewed

[BigDawg]

Skip the funeral. Send condolences or flowers but don't put yourself in a space where you feel uncomfortable. Funerals are for the living and like May said can be draining. I don't do funerals anymore unless it's immediate family. 

[Mel.]

I haven't even called my cousins to give my condolences
not because I don't want to, but I don't know what to say or how to approach the situation
I'm lowkey scared because I don't know what kinda reception I'll get

I'm trying to work up the courage to call them

[b7]

It may make things awkward for you and everyone else there, so if anything, i think you're being mindful by not going.

But then again if you do, it's a huge showing of maturity on your part as well, and I'm sure they'd know you're going because you care in some way.

Either way, i think it's a mature decision if you don't go or do decide to go. Don't stress it

[MelMel]

I wouldn't go especially if you didn't care for her while she was alive (may she RIP)

Family is draining as it is and you have to protect yourself

[Mel.]

Yall's responses are easing my fears
I was hoping I didn't come off as selfish, because that's definitely not me or the place I'm coming from, I just feel weird about it

but I definitely feel a bit better now, thanks

[Naomi Hit Me]

Skip the funeral. Send condolences or flowers but don't put yourself in a space where you feel uncomfortable. Funerals are for the living and like May said can be draining. I don't do funerals anymore unless it's immediate family.

this

[Edge gorl]

if so then im tha worst person on earf

[Justaway_]

Nah Mel it's not selfish. Especially if you & your cousins arent in good terms right now. Every person has their own way to deal with loss, which has to be respected as such. You can go visit her resting place whenever you want and have a moment of solitude, reflection and reconciliation. 

Funerals are just a formality. People say its about supporting the loved ones of the deceased but truth is, no matter how many people attend and give you some potato salad and a nice little chat, it will never ease your pain. Most people just wanna deal with the loss by themselves or alongside the truly closest ones. 

[Drogon]

Naw they dead they not gone be mad

[I. Hate. Monica.]

Naw they dead they not gone be mad

Period.