Honesty Hour: What if somebody judged your personal life/decisions/friendships?

Started by KING BENTLEY., February 28, 2016, 08:43:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

FINE.


KING BENTLEY.

Well, yea that does happen it lot

I've seen friendships ruined from those types of misunderstandings... so that rings true.

H.#.G.*.Z

Herb.

Quote from: BENTLEY! on February 28, 2016, 11:48:48 PM
Well, yea that does happen it lot

I've seen friendships ruined from those types of misunderstandings... so that rings true.
!!!

It's not always about intent sometimes. Its just the way someone takes it. Often times when people are fucking up in life, they can get VERY defensive when someone calls them out on it. They can see it as judgment, when it's not.

Admitting that you're wrong/have a problem is one of the hardest things that people have to do. So having someone else point it out to you before you get to that point, can be like  :uhh: :uhh: :uhh: excuse you? Who the FUCK do you think you are :usureuok: You ain't perfect either bitch! :fuming:

I've seen it many times, when all intentions were good.

DraeDrizzl3

Yes fro!! You hit that shit on the head. Admitting to being wrong is usually people's hardest task. I know it used to be for me, still is at times.

Herb.

My grandmother gets that way when my sisters try to tell her to slow down on the sweets. She knows she shouldn't have it, we know she shouldn't. But if they say something to her, she can get veryyy defensive, to the point where she's ready to read :dead: :dead: sdnsndnsdnsdnsdnsd her claws come OUT.  And she tries to switch it up on them.

To us, it's helping her, to her, it feels like we're going in a bit and need to mind our business and worry about ourselves. :dead: :dead: she gets so VICIOUS when u try to get that snack cake out her hand. :plzstop: :plzstop:

:wub:

Herb.

Quote from: Sirius on February 28, 2016, 11:53:42 PM
Yes fro!! You hit that shit on the head. Admitting to being wrong is usually people's hardest task. I know it used to be for me, still is at times.
!!!!!

I've had to have these types of conversations with my best friend. And she's had to have them with me. It's never an easy discussion because you have to be completely honest. You have to tell them shit they don't want to hear.

But if you love someone that's what the fuck you do.

Honestly, there is judgment involved to a degree because without being able to judge what needs to be improved , what discussion are you having? How can you tell them what you've seen that needs to be fixed? Or a track that they've driven off of, that they need to return to.

Herb.

my bestie >>>

I remember how we met in high school...I was in 9th grade....
we were in study hall, she came up to me privately and told me
"They're over there asking whether you're gay or not, talking about it .... so I just wanted to come ask you, are you? :cheerup: "
s
d
sd
sd
sd
sd

sd
sd
ds
sd
ssdsddssdsd

While other gorls were whispering, wondering, judging...
she came str8 to the source and got down to business. :dead: we've been inseparable since.
she's gay as well.

that's the difference between my real friend and some bitch i say hello to in passing on the streets.

Scott.

Quote from: RIG on February 28, 2016, 09:09:19 PM
Quote from: Herbie on February 28, 2016, 08:54:24 PM
But being caring or judgmental can be fairly subjective.

A lot of times people confuse genuine concern with judgement or even condemnation.
It comes down to the level of sensitivity a person has IMO.
Or more importantly a misinterpretation of message or intent.
yea some people don't wanna hear SHIT :dead: but I don't keep those people around either. Ur not gonna keep fucking up, bringing everyone else down with that shitty energy and not expect to get a nice little wake up call. Absolutely not

Then you have the ones that ASK for advice and have a heart attack when you give it to them. I can't and won't
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scott.

I take friendships seriously, and I've been friends with the same people since middle and high school. Sometimes I think I do a little too much for my friends and when I don't get the same respect in return, I'm hurt and ready to lash out.

It's like this situation I have now. I met this girl about two years ago when we worked together, but we became friends. Long story short, she quit, had two jobs after that and lost both. So I went to my boss and referred her and because it was me and my word, she got hired, no interview, no nothing. Soon as she got there, I find out she was dogging me out to the management and co-workers and all the that, I'm buying her lunch because she was hungry, giving her money cause she needed it, putting gas in her car even if I wasn't riding with her, I just knew she needed some gas, but yet you dogging me. I haven't been able to look at her since I was told this information. It's things like that that makes me wonder if I'm doing too much for people I call my friends.

RekeRig

Quote from: Scott. on February 29, 2016, 12:56:32 AM
I take friendships seriously, and I've been friends with the same people since middle and high school. Sometimes I think I do a little too much for my friends and when I don't get the same respect in return, I'm hurt and ready to lash out.

It's like this situation I have now. I met this girl about two years ago when we worked together, but we became friends. Long story short, she quit, had two jobs after that and lost both. So I went to my boss and referred her and because it was me and my word, she got hired, no interview, no nothing. Soon as she got there, I find out she was dogging me out to the management and co-workers and all the that, I'm buying her lunch because she was hungry, giving her money cause she needed it, putting gas in her car even if I wasn't riding with her, I just knew she needed some gas, but yet you dogging me. I haven't been able to look at her since I was told this information. It's things like that that makes me wonder if I'm doing too much for people I call my friends.
wow  :uhh: wtf made her do that? people are so fucked up. If you don't use then why are you taking my money?

Herb.

Yeah I'm very cautious of who I'm extra nice to. You do one good deed and you damn near become their parent or something. And/or ATM machine.

A big reason while I'm glad I've decided to get totally focused back on well.... me lolz.



RekeRig

Quote from: Herbie on February 29, 2016, 01:35:28 AM
Yeah I'm very cautious of who I'm extra nice to. You do one good deed and you damn near become their parent or something. And/or ATM machine.

A big reason while I'm glad I've decided to get totally focused back on well.... me lolz.


very true. I try and figure out whether or not they're asking for something out of a true NEED, or if it's just the easy way out for them cuz they know I'm nice enough to say YES 9 times out of 10

And I certainly don't go for it when it becomes a pattern

Scott.

Quote from: RIG on February 29, 2016, 01:32:43 AM
Quote from: Scott. on February 29, 2016, 12:56:32 AM
I take friendships seriously, and I've been friends with the same people since middle and high school. Sometimes I think I do a little too much for my friends and when I don't get the same respect in return, I'm hurt and ready to lash out.

It's like this situation I have now. I met this girl about two years ago when we worked together, but we became friends. Long story short, she quit, had two jobs after that and lost both. So I went to my boss and referred her and because it was me and my word, she got hired, no interview, no nothing. Soon as she got there, I find out she was dogging me out to the management and co-workers and all the that, I'm buying her lunch because she was hungry, giving her money cause she needed it, putting gas in her car even if I wasn't riding with her, I just knew she needed some gas, but yet you dogging me. I haven't been able to look at her since I was told this information. It's things like that that makes me wonder if I'm doing too much for people I call my friends.
wow  :uhh: wtf made her do that? people are so fucked up. If you don't use then why are you taking my money?

Right. In my face, she was the same person I knew and I loved, but apparently behind my back, she was talking shit about me as an "employee" when I was picking her slack and several others slack. Not to mention she was 38 hot about me taking off for Valentine's Day weekend (which is my birthday weekend), which I had taken off months in advance, before she even got hired there.

The people that informed me of her mess said she was slandering me as an employee, not a friend. But it doesn't matter to me because I NEVER slandered her in ANY way. I defended her a LOT when people came for her behind ha back.

Scott.

Quote from: Herbie on February 29, 2016, 01:35:28 AM
Yeah I'm very cautious of who I'm extra nice to. You do one good deed and you damn near become their parent or something. And/or ATM machine.

A big reason while I'm glad I've decided to get totally focused back on well.... me lolz.



But most people don't have to ask me. If I see you in need, I offer automatically. That maybe my biggest flaw.  :'(

Herb.

Quote from: Scott. on February 29, 2016, 02:17:01 AM
Quote from: Herbie on February 29, 2016, 01:35:28 AM
Yeah I'm very cautious of who I'm extra nice to. You do one good deed and you damn near become their parent or something. And/or ATM machine.

A big reason while I'm glad I've decided to get totally focused back on well.... me lolz.



But most people don't have to ask me. If I see you in need, I offer automatically. That maybe my biggest flaw.  :'(
im the same way. And it makes it worse when people see you are proactively giving to them. Cuz that type of person is rare and people will take advantage. Or simply take it for granted.

Fuck them. It's kinda all about me lolz