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[LOONA.]

I feel like this "he's gonna eventually leave me for a woman" scenario is grossly exaggerated and has people freaked out.     

I think it has to do with what we've seen more of. I really don't have any examples of old happy gay couples. I see DL men with wives and children as a lifestyle who have escapades with men because they're secretly into them.

I can agree with this.

It can be off putting or whatever. You sound like you have a good thing though. You just have to try to prevent outside mess from picking at your brain and making you feel some type of way.   

[L0NZ.]

I feel like this "he's gonna eventually leave me for a woman" scenario is grossly exaggerated and has people freaked out.     

I think it has to do with what we've seen more of. I really don't have any examples of old happy gay couples. I see DL men with wives and children as a lifestyle who have escapades with men because they're secretly into them.

I can agree with this.

It can be off putting or whatever. You sound like you have a good thing though. You just have to try to prevent outside mess from picking at your brain and making you feel some type of way.   

[GLOCK]

Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.

and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.

You honestly described me to a T!
i dont have many friends and only a few gay ones but i feel that this resonated with me
i placed my self in this situation while reading it and honestly feel that you need to just enjoy the space that you two are in
you are going to have to come to a place to fully let go of his past and stop comparing urself to this other person..
you two may never have the things that he and she had but honestly those things were more than likely not genuine anyway..

the way the world is built.. we are often confused and believe that we must do the things society says we should..
go to college..
find a woman in the church..
marry her..
have kids..
and one day become rich and live happily ever after!

ive done all of these things in my short life and ive learned that this is when i was living for everyone else and not for myself..
everyday is def a struggle with fully owning who i am.. accepting it.. embracing it..
but i can honestly say i feel so happy speaking the truth to myself.. Men fulfill me.

You need to express this to him
im learning that the best way to truly attain success in ur relationship is talking things out..
it will never work if he doesnt know that u feel this way..
and im sure he will make u feel way better about these feelings...
and he probably sense this space that ur in....

HAVE THE TALK LONZ! 

[L0NZ.]

Well, I don't share much about myself on here for obvious reasons...but the reason I made this thread is because I'm dealing with this, as the gay boyfriend to a guy who identifies as bisexual, and has entertained women in the past, as far as an engagement. Apparently she was aware of his "other" interests too but It didn't work out obviously. Something about he feel out of love and feeling neglected. now from what I know and have experienced from him, he's fuckin gay. Visually and personality wise, a woman COULD fit right next to him. I can see him pulling that off seamlessly if he wanted it that way. However the things he's done in the past, places he's been, company he's kept, his tight circle of 3/4 gay guys (well 1 has kids and the other was also engaged once) and simply the way he is with me tells me he's more into men. That comforts me, but in the back of my mind I resent the fact that he asked a woman to spend her life with him, for whatever reason. The fact that he picked out a ring, kneeled down, probably had an engagement party, etc makes me really upset. I've never said anything about it outside of passively dragging him in related conversations by making sure I say things like "living a lie" and making fun of gay guys with women as "beards" and so on. It's to the point where I don't even like to watch shows about marriage or engagement around him. And I've been to the ex-fianc?s page more than a few times. Out of curiousity. He has said that with women, he never felt fulfilled, and that at some point in his life he "found himself." Not trying to convince me that he's truly for me (because he doesn't know how I really feel about it) but just in conversation about the life journey. But yea to put it simply I'm intimidated by his PAST. And jealous of it. It's a big fear that one day he'll just feel it would be "easier" to date/marry a woman..... I feel like the normalcy part is attractive to him. I once asked which did he prefer over the other, his response was its "whoever makes me happy." One time I asked are there things that you more freely did with women that we don't necessarily do, and he said yeah things like holding hands.... these actually don't bother me because he sneaks and slaps my ass in public, has grabbed my hands across the dinner table while out, etc. Just giving y'all some insight into his psyche.

and The thing is, our relationship is fuckin amazing. The best I've ever been in. He's really good to me. What I'm sharing with y'all is really the only thing that haunts me. and it sucks because it's probably the LAST thing on his mind. I'm on break and this is probably all over the place but ch.

You honestly described me to a T!
i dont have many friends and only a few gay ones but i feel that this resonated with me
i placed my self in this situation while reading it and honestly feel that you need to just enjoy the space that you two are in
you are going to have to come to a place to fully let go of his past and stop comparing urself to this other person..
you two may never have the things that he and she had but honestly those things were more than likely not genuine anyway..

the way the world is built.. we are often confused and believe that we must do the things society says we should..
go to college..
find a woman in the church..
marry her..
have kids..
and one day become rich and live happily ever after!

ive done all of these things in my short life and ive learned that this is when i was living for everyone else and not for myself..
everyday is def a struggle with fully owning who i am.. accepting it.. embracing it..
but i can honestly say i feel so happy speaking the truth to myself.. Men fulfill me.

You need to express this to him
im learning that the best way to truly attain success in ur relationship is talking things out..
it will never work if he doesnt know that u feel this way..
and im sure he will make u feel way better about these feelings...
and he probably sense this space that ur in....

HAVE THE TALK LONZ!

thanks glock! these affirmations make me well up

[GLOCK]

anytime Lonzy!