Barber Update... its lengthy but WORTH it! (Part 2 Update added)

Started by RatherBe, September 01, 2016, 11:34:04 PM

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BigDawg

You guys sound like a beautiful couple and I hope that the best outcome happens for you and lil man. 

Navyman

Quote from: AJ on January 28, 2020, 09:51:55 PM
Quote from: GLOCK on January 28, 2020, 09:16:44 PM
Aj.. it's ur big bruv.
how do you feel? :unsure:

can you really dedicate a large part of your life to a child?

this is heavy .. but maybe u and Matt might want to look into marriage first :unsure:

cant believe I'm typing this but .. adoption is huge
this me now... this nigga done got on here and charmed y'all asses huh?  :dead:


I kinda feel like..... either we go full force or we dont do anything at all... this poor bby, I want to showe him with all the love and affection but like I tell Matt, "you gotta protect yourself".... so I'm kinda on reserve until this sit down happens. I'm a little more by facts and by the books... Matt is more by the heart and what feels right. Ultimately, whatever happen... I would need it in writing and signed. I don't believe in half stepping, especially when it comes to African American boy who already will have to work twice as hard. If I'm gon do this... then I'm gonna DO it. Lawyers, papers, signatures AND ALL.
!! This is smart, because all type of curve balls can arise and it's best everybody is on the same page for clarity purposes moving forward and not just today in the moment, but even years down the line in case someone mind changes etc...

RatherBe

yeah all this is great and shit.... but we need to be discussing the REAL problem...if this mean we gotta be fckn celibate, lil man gonna have to be put in after school care or something. I haven't had ANY this year. 2 days ago matt gave me a hug before leaving out for work and I damn near melted in his arms..

imma turn some shit over if we cross over into February and im still sitting here like damn nun. EVERYBODY GETTING PUT OWT THE HOUSE!



Bentley. HARRIS!

Quote from: TinaSnow on January 28, 2020, 09:43:57 PM
You guys think the mother is just gonna okay this so easily and not expect something in return? :unsure:
that girl don't want no damn bby  :dead:

i mean ... alot of things tipped me off to that

first off not every woman just lets father figures in
second, the increased baby sitting and asking for help, using the bvy
third, somebody just ran out of your house with your bby and you didn't at least cancel your plans or text him asking if he was just playing?
:plea:

I'm actually assuming she set the whole thing up. This was easier for her than to drop him at the police station. Plus Matt will eventually have to report everything he saw to the state anyways.

i think the only decision Mataj needs to make is whether to start looking for good foster homes or trusted family members that want to raise a child.

if they aren't both on the same page quick it could do more harm than good. I wouldn't even try it for a month if it's a 75% yes. Cause he'll get attached to them quick! a month of stable behavior to a kid who's grown up in dysfunction is more than enough time to put an imprint on them. the bvy would be crushed if he had to leave.

b7

AJ babe ...  there really ain't no damn way. I'm sure Matt is sweet and means well though, so I'll stay out of it 

i just don't like that at all 

FRANCE

Quote from: Bentley. A Moderator. on January 28, 2020, 11:23:45 PM
Quote from: TinaSnow on January 28, 2020, 09:43:57 PM
You guys think the mother is just gonna okay this so easily and not expect something in return? :unsure:
Cause he'll get attached to them quick! a month of stable behavior to a kid who's grown up in dysfunction is more than enough time to put an imprint on them. the bvy would be crushed if he had to leave.
ALL of this!

b7

Quote from: Gilgamesh. on January 28, 2020, 09:08:02 PM
She gave him to Matt, not AJ.

That's not fair to expect AJ to play Daddy just cause Matt feels sentimental.
!!!!! No ma'am

And to not know whether or not any of this is possible, it's not fair to get the child's feelings and hopes up like this. What if the mother decides to take him away and has a change of heart?

I don't doubt that Matt means well and hope it all works out, but it's tricky. Just please don't promise the child anything if you aren't for sure

Vonc2002

Quote from: GLOCK on January 28, 2020, 09:03:57 PM
Clearly Matt wants to be a dad..
this might be Gods way of allowing him to do so
:unsure:

the black community isn't as cut and dry as y'all are making it

I legit know dozens of people who were raised by people that weren't their blood.. no legalities ... and had the best life possible

:omf:

no telling where this kid would be without this ounce of peace
True but  it's still not COMMON.  If ur not being raised by your mother or father, it's still usually blood.  Grandma, auntie, or sumn. But yea,  I agree.  A family friend raising ur kid isn't completely unheard of.  Clearly the mother wants to give the obligation up even if only momentarily,  cause if she wanted her child then she would have him.  The law is on her side.  She basking in this man swooping in and carrying her load tho
This is my pass to say WHATEVER tf I wanna say about the mess she releases so I don't wanna hear SHIT! Baby mama is a mess of a song btw





Vonc2002

Quote from: GLOCK on January 28, 2020, 09:05:11 PM
Quote from: LF on January 28, 2020, 09:03:54 PM
Quote from: GLOCK on January 28, 2020, 08:58:07 PM
Maybe.. my heart is too wide :stressed:
because this would've made me adore him even more .. what a stand up guy?

yes he should've talked it over with you but he probably used his instincts and compared how much u care for lil man and said "if aj saw this.. he wouldn't want him here either"

the environment sounds 100% unsafe..
and as a god parent.. i know how I would've reacted if I saw any of my god kids in that atmosphere

you love Matt and y'all have weathered some huge storms.. y'all will be fine.
even if it's just for a little while.. what y'all are doing for him won't go without it's rewards..

I think in the next month you and Matt need to discuss and decide if this is permanent

make sure the father isn't in the picture.. because that might be the next best option

if he isn't.. I'd have the mother legally give Matt full custody of the kid.. so that she doesn't up and snatch him away .. and so that he can have medical coverage and such.

its the right thing to do

i adore this love story of you guys.

Yeah, he's definitely a dope guy for this. Really big of him to step in. I just hope they dont get toooo attached and the mom gets her shit 2gether.
the attachment mess already happened tbh

I just hope they define the lines

The mother doesn't seem to care tbh
And looks like she might be struggling with her own demons and drugs

She gave him up to Matt with no fight  :unsure:
EXACTLY!
This is my pass to say WHATEVER tf I wanna say about the mess she releases so I don't wanna hear SHIT! Baby mama is a mess of a song btw





RatherBe

matt here. 

Me, Aj and the mom will be sitting down today. I'm nervous but I'm ready to have a definite answer as to what we will be doing moving forward. AJ has been preparing me and we've been talking through possible circumstances. this nigga may as well be a lawyer



Gilgamesh.

Hope it works out for the best, whichever decision she makes.

GLOCK

Aww praying for you guys! 

and ack.. yeah my bruv AJ is smart. 

taught him a lot of what he knows actually 🤭

RatherBe

whew bitch....

okay... this is Aj by the way.
 this bitch thought she was finna get over on us.

everything was going fine. we were going to keep lil man with us until the end of the school year because he's doing substantially better. BUT towards the end of the conversation I brought up the financial aspect of this, which Matt and I already discussed before. We agreed $100 a week is more than feasible to ask of her. So Matt says.. "Im glad we will have more time with him until we can get a legal plan in action. We do need discuss the financial aspect of it though. Aj and I discussed this and we think that $100 is a more than fair number to ask. What are your thoughts?"

this bitch says "Hold up, im confused!!'

Strike 1- Matt is squeezing my leg under the table, so I stay cool.

Matt says... "Okay what can I clear up?"

She says.." I dont understand why y'all all of a sudden asking for money, from my understanding it wasn't about money. this was supposed to be about the well being of the baby. See nah, ill just figure something else out because Im not gon pay yall and if this was about money the whole time... you coulda just left him."


Strike 2 AND 3- because bitch.. dont question me or my nigga intentions!

so I say... "You gotta be a retarded bitch to think you gon give your baby to somebody and not contribute beyond some phone calls and some night stays!"

so now we arguing... and matt is tryna calm me down but now im fucking pissed because... I spend more than $100 on his ass in less than a day.

she say some shit like..."This wasn't ever about helping me out, this was about money!"

so I say... "Youre right about one thing, bitch. We initially weren't trying to help YOU. we were trying to help the baby! fuck you. and this lil money you was talking about...literally does not put a dent in our expenses, lead alone HIS expenses and the shit he needs! We weren't even gonna use that money, we were gonna collect and save it up for you to help you get on your feet just incase you decided you wanted him back after summer."

so now she sitting there looking STUPID. I tell them im done with the conversation and that im going to sit in the truck. grab my shit and leave. about 20 mins go by, matt comes out to the truck and he looks like he's tearing up so im already knowing. he gets in the car and he's like... "he's gonna stay the night with us and then tomorrow, we're gonna drop him off at his grandma's. Im not gonna play these games. It dont even feel right no more."

We came home, had a talk with lil man... told him he was going to stay with his granny for a little bit and at first he asked "why?" to which Matt had to walk out of the room and I just told him that his mommy thinks that its best. he said okay and seemed fine with going to his grandma's house, thank god. so we packed up all his stuff. Me and matt decided to send him with all the shit we bought him.. after all we aint gon have a use for it right now and it makes no sense in punishing him for how dumb his egg donor is.

now both of them are sleep in my bed.. snoring loud as shit. im just trying to take it all in because its really hitting me that tomorrow, we'll be dropping him off for good. 



GLOCK

Aww bby bro.
you guys did what u could..
it's best for her to decide where he goes and such..
she's clearly looking for an escape but doesn't want to deal with comes with all of that. 
Its sad because you guys could've gave him the life he needs.

you guys will eventually be able to have a child to love and raise.  

FRANCE

Quote from: GLOCK on February 13, 2020, 09:43:48 PM
Aww bby bro.
you guys did what u could..
it's best for her to decide where he goes and such..
she's clearly looking for an escape but doesn't want to deal with comes with all of that.
Its sad because you guys could've gave him the life he needs.

you guys will eventually be able to have a child to love and raise. 

!!! U guys did all you could. Take this as a learning experience until u get ur own child. Wonder if this will be the last u hear from her though.