Do you? Have you seen it? Want to experience it? Etc...
I hope
So. Not sure tho. Especially in today's day and age
Don't wanna be single forever.
I was involved for years and in love but it's not the same thing when you can't share your love with the world
https://youtu.be/LKaXY4IdZ40
Yes it completely exists, it looks different for a lot of people and I do think its difficult to truly acquire.
I also don't think many of us know how to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men; looking at communication skills, emotional intelligence, self & community awareness, it's understandable as to why we dont.
Duh fag
Don't you love that boy you're seeing now?
Isn't that why you put up with his shenanigans?
:nowgorl:
Looking for a Russian billionaire tbh. :cheerup:
Yes tbh. Though it may seem like every one of these black gays are lying cheating pieces of shit. There are so many that are respectful, honest, freely open up emotionally, etc. At one point looking out and viewing it I to thought the same. But quickly snapped out of that mindset after seeing it first hand. What's "love" to one doesn't exactly seem like "love" to the next.
(https://media.giphy.com/media/UbJNbhARTSngA/giphy.gif)
Quote from: Baph al Mana. on June 12, 2017, 05:49:09 PM
Yes tbh. Though it may seem like every one of these black gays are lying cheating pieces of shit. There are so many that are respectful, honest, freely open up emotionally, etc. At one point looking out and viewing it I to thought the same. But quickly snapped out of that mindset after seeing it first hand. What's "love" to one doesn't exactly seem like "love" to the next.
:sistas:
At the end of the day, you're still a piece of shit
I curse ur existence
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-v83wRmX0gnk/UKOc6UPGLII/AAAAAAAAA64/QTW0SxmBMyw/s500/Whitney+Houston+at+Pre-GRAMMY+Gala_mpeg2video.gif)
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 05:39:05 PM
Yes it completely exists, it looks different for a lot of people and I do think its difficult to truly acquire.
I also don't think many of us know how to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men; looking at communication skills, emotional intelligence, self & community awareness, it's understandable as to why we dont.
Gross. We almost said the same thing. :overit:
You literally greased up my answer and posted it like it was ur own
:diddraispoot:
:ummwhat: I didn't see your post til after I made my own. I would've def' played Mr. Contrarian.
Btw Black Gay love doesn't exist. It's false hope and basically a fantasy.
Oh,
How long have you been FAKE just to be controversial?
:butwait!:
Quote from: KippDaddy on June 12, 2017, 05:36:29 PM
I hope
So. Not sure tho. Especially in today's day and age
Don't wanna be single forever.
I was involved for years and in love but it's not the same thing when you can't share your love with the world
I agree.
Gotta be seen as friends, can't hang around too much, don't wanna raise flags.
Man nigga fuck all that
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 05:39:05 PM
Yes it completely exists, it looks different for a lot of people and I do think its difficult to truly acquire.
I also don't think many of us know how to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men; looking at communication skills, emotional intelligence, self & community awareness, it's understandable as to why we dont.
Why do you think we don't know how? Society views? The way we view ourselves as being black and gay?
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 05:58:53 PM
Oh,
How long have you been FAKE just to be controversial?
:butwait!:
Don't know. But if it PISSES you off in the slightest, I'll do it everyday. :oof:
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 12, 2017, 05:41:31 PM
Duh fag
Don't you love that boy you're seeing now?
Isn't that why you put up with his shenanigans?
:nowgorl:
Ajsjsjxmcvmvmm
Fag yeah, just don't know if it's love. I've never done anything like this before. So I don't know how it looks or how I'm supposed to feel
It is exists, it is just a matter of the right person coming into your life.
Quote from: Baph al Mana. on June 12, 2017, 05:49:09 PM
Yes tbh. Though it may seem like every one of these black gays are lying cheating pieces of shit. There are so many that are respectful, honest, freely open up emotionally, etc. At one point looking out and viewing it I to thought the same. But quickly snapped out of that mindset after seeing it first hand. What's "love" to one doesn't exactly seem like "love" to the next.
!!!!
This entire post, I have to snap out of the mindset I'm in before I ruin relationships. I used to think all gay men a promiscuous and wanted nothing to do with a relationship. Now it's staring me in my face and I'm fighting it.
Quote from: Tonkaman on June 12, 2017, 06:00:47 PM
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 05:39:05 PM
Yes it completely exists, it looks different for a lot of people and I do think its difficult to truly acquire.
I also don't think many of us know how to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men; looking at communication skills, emotional intelligence, self & community awareness, it's understandable as to why we dont.
Why do you think we don't know how? Society views? The way we view ourselves as being black and gay?
Well, a few things:
Men aren't really conditioned to be effective communicators while also being socialized to feel that the only approriate emotion that can be exhibited is anger.
Queer men receive indirect and direct messages throughout their development that their queerness is wrong/deviant/bad. Some men buy into that and it comes out in a few internally homophobic ways
Society is hypersexual and there aren't many spaces for queer men of color to just EXIST without persecution outside of mobile apps and the club. None of which are ideal for building a relationship.
The apps in general are just expedited ways to fuck random people without getting to know them. If you see thousands of folks who just say a few things hook-up and move on as a young gay, you'll think that's whats normal and you buy into that and perpetuate it.
If my nigga don't wanna get a house and make it forever I think Ima explore other options
It's like, My maternal clock is ticking and I don't have time to play house!
I'm not some damn FLOOZY that you can just be involved with casually forever!
I'm strong and independa' !
I'm worth more gotdammit
It's kinda hard to maintain a relationship with any man when most men are conditioned to suppress every emotion that isn't anger or lust, even more difficult when you factor in the internalized homophobia, the inflated male ego and shallowness in general.
But yea...I guess there's someone out there for everyone n stuff.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 12, 2017, 06:13:26 PM
I just think men are naturally sexual and visual beings. So when you have two men in a relationship there's really no "balance" that a female would normally provide. Men love sex and are easily aroused. It's not even something that can be controlled. It's just not a gay thing so I don't know why people make it out to be.
I mean, we have a president who was impeached because his dick got hard. That alone should tell people how serious sexuality is for men, in general.
There's nothing more dangerous than an erect penis. Families can get broken up, presidencies can be ended, people can croak! :cheerup: I strongly believe that men aren't naturally built for monogamy. It's something that is socially encouraged and demanded of them.
That's my point? What is the point of it all, we should all just be hoes and never look forward to settling down?
Quote from: Tonkaman on June 12, 2017, 05:59:40 PM
Quote from: KippDaddy on June 12, 2017, 05:36:29 PM
I hope
So. Not sure tho. Especially in today's day and age
Don't wanna be single forever.
I was involved for years and in love but it's not the same thing when you can't share your love with the world
I agree.
Gotta be seen as friends, can't hang around too much, don't wanna raise flags.
Man nigga fuck all that
Ugh!
THIS!!!!
:melmel:
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 05:39:05 PM
Yes it completely exists, it looks different for a lot of people and I do think its difficult to truly acquire.
I also don't think many of us know how to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men; looking at communication skills, emotional intelligence, self & community awareness, it's understandable as to why we dont.
YESSS
yasssss
yeeeeeeessssss
this tumblr gives me hope
http://blackbromance.tumblr.com/
Quotesettling down
Eek I hate this term..
But I don't think loving relationships have to last forever and they don't have end because Dequan was caught in bed with Terrance.
A mutual separation and understanding that the feelings have worn down. But that kinda goes hand and hand with being able to express how you're feeling emotionally.
m
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 12, 2017, 06:19:19 PM
Quote from: ANIMMAI on June 12, 2017, 06:17:15 PM
It's kinda hard to maintain a relationship with any man when most men are conditioned to suppress every emotion that isn't anger or lust, even more difficult when you factor in the internalized homophobia, the inflated male ego and shallowness in general.
But yea...I guess there's someone out there for everyone n stuff.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
That's interesting. I know it's common for hetero men to suppress their emotions, but it's common for gay men too? I really wouldn't know -- I'm so openly emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve. I assumed many other people were like that as well.
I don't wanna sound ignorant, but I think the lot of black gay men have adopted one of two emotional personalities: the Regina George Mean Girl act, ready to read somebody at the drop of a hat or the masc-only DL guy who is too concerned with whether or not people will still see the average straight man when they look at him. Any and everything in between is ostracized or seen as less than.
Quote from: ANIMMAI on June 12, 2017, 06:17:15 PM
It's kinda hard to maintain a relationship with any man when most men are conditioned to suppress every emotion that isn't anger or lust, even more difficult when you factor in the internalized homophobia, the inflated male ego and shallowness in general.
But yea...I guess there's someone out there for everyone n stuff.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
I shouldn't have to do this
(http://i.imgur.com/1VCFL4G.gif)
Just for you to wake up and emote to me. I'm TIRED!
Quote from: ANIMMAI on June 12, 2017, 06:23:11 PM
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 12, 2017, 06:19:19 PM
Quote from: ANIMMAI on June 12, 2017, 06:17:15 PM
It's kinda hard to maintain a relationship with any man when most men are conditioned to suppress every emotion that isn't anger or lust, even more difficult when you factor in the internalized homophobia, the inflated male ego and shallowness in general.
But yea...I guess there's someone out there for everyone n stuff.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
That's interesting. I know it's common for hetero men to suppress their emotions, but it's common for gay men too? I really wouldn't know -- I'm so openly emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve. I assumed many other people were like that as well.
I don't wanna sound ignorant, but I think the lot of black gay men have adopted one of two emotional personalities: the Regina George Mean Girl act, ready to read somebody at the drop of a hat or the masc-only DL guy who is too concerned with whether or not people will still see the average straight man when they look at him. Any and everything in between is ostracized or seen as less than.
:wub:
And I know that Mean Girl mess sounds like a lot of us, but keep in mind a lot of what goes on here is in jest.
I would hope no one here is over the age of eighteen still acting like they're still perched in the HS cafeteria :diddraispoot:
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 06:23:25 PM
Oh fuck it. Niggas ain't shit. Even the "nice" ones are trash.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
Let's talk about this "nice guy" shit for a minute...because I see a lot of men (gay and straight) trying to play up the nice guy trope when there's really a self entitled, emotionally selfish asshole underneath the exterior.
And it's alwaaaays the one screaming "I have a good job, I have a car, I don't go to clubs n stuff, I'm different from the others!"
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 06:23:25 PM
Oh fuck it. Niggas ain't shit. Even the "nice" ones are trash.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
but they're everything.
:stressed:
!!!!!!!
i HATE blck men
like i loathe em
can b so damns stubborn, annoyin', tryna alway controls stuff!
jus UGH!..nigga wait to u go to sleep..see wat happ'n
(https://uploadir.com/u/60fw4e5x)
but there nothin like a blck man all up in ur house
protectin ya
luvin..ya
(http://www.healthyblackwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/black-couple-in-love.jpg)
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 06:25:55 PM
Out of the people I know, the swirly couples do seem to be lasting, A LOT longer though. :uhh:
:mmyucudnvr:
I just don't feel comfortable dating a white man. They are so fetishized.
Quote from: ANIMMAI on June 12, 2017, 06:28:30 PM
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 06:23:25 PM
Oh fuck it. Niggas ain't shit. Even the "nice" ones are trash.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
Let's talk about this "nice guy" shit for a minute...because I see a lot of men (gay and straight) trying to play up the nice guy trope when there's really a self entitled, emotionally selfish asshole underneath the exterior.
And it's alwaaaays the one screaming "I have a good job, I have a car, I don't go to clubs n stuff, I'm different from the others!"
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
Well cut straight to the Patti Pudding. And I agree
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
im open to datin other races
but i think i do deep downs wanna marry a blck man
Quote from: ANIMMAI on June 12, 2017, 06:28:30 PM
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 06:23:25 PM
Oh fuck it. Niggas ain't shit. Even the "nice" ones are trash.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
Let's talk about this "nice guy" shit for a minute...because I see a lot of men (gay and straight) trying to play up the nice guy trope when there's really a self entitled, emotionally selfish asshole underneath the exterior.
And it's alwaaaays the one screaming "I have a good job, I have a car, I don't go to clubs n stuff, I'm different from the others!"
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
U betta preach in hea...
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
b
(http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/40400000/Little-Mix-Power-little-mix-40487027-500-250.gif)
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 12, 2017, 06:35:55 PM
Quote from: Tinker's Room on June 12, 2017, 06:33:17 PM
im open to datin other races
but i think i do deep downs wanna marry a blck man
Luv is luv. I don't care what race he is - if there's love, attraction and respect that's all we need.
I'm in NYC so it's only a given that I ran into other races as I stepped back into dating/talking/whatever.
A ho on the prowl.
i do 'gree wit 'fro tho
i dnt particularly look at race wen a guy approaches me n starts beggin for my number (which is vry damns often)
im open to watever
idk if this is offensive or not tho but i jus..feel more...'at home'?..wit blck men
we may have tha same fav blck movies frm our childhood & stuff
im open to watever tho!
White gays are terrible as well guys. Trust me. Tbh they're more likely to be aiding it up with someone else behind your back.
:melmel:
Yall cut the shit, yall got me agreeing with Bath and it feels wrong.
I'm heterosexual.
(http://abload.de/img/kenya8w9sk3.gif)
I'm open to talk to whomever ...I just can't see myself long term dating a white man.
Got to at least have a lick of Italian, Portuguese, Spanish or Greek in em :raycharles2urmess:
And I gotta agree with baph. So many of the white couples I know be cheating on each other. They ain't no better :raycharles2urmess:
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 12, 2017, 06:43:40 PM
Quote from: Sl? on June 12, 2017, 06:41:06 PM
I'm open to talk to whomever ...I just can't see myself long term dating a white man.
Got to at least have a lick of Italian, Portuguese, Spanish or Greek in em :raycharles2urmess:
omf I was just talking about this the other day!
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 04, 2017, 11:04:50 AM
I always feel more comfortable around people of southern european descent (italians, spaniards, jews, etc.) -- they tend to have brown eyes, black hair.
.
They are super sexy.
They gotta have cake n lips. Italians n spaniards usually do.
Nothing is worse to me than a cute white boy with no damn lips. :omgwatshappening:
where the foine Asian's at?!
Ralf?
:ummwhat:
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
Yea
If I could find someone as up front, goal driven and yet as considerate as I am ...I'd be set.
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
[youtube autoplay=1 start=63 end=68]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkrkaH_V7fE[/youtube]
Dead at y'all not answering the question. Is that a no? Well put yourself out there are the undateable then :ATLcameo:
I would most definitely date myself, hell I would MARRY myself... if only I had a twin :dead:
wait that came out wrong ... I meant a clone
fsvvvvvvvvvf
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 12, 2017, 06:51:14 PM
Quote from: Sl? on June 12, 2017, 06:50:09 PM
Dead at y'all not answering the question. Is that a no? Well put yourself out there are the undateable then :ATLcameo:
I think he posed that question to anyone who's quick to say "black men are shit", etc.
I'm interesting if ppl are basing it on their own personal experience or just on generalizations.
The majority of the guys I've dated were black and I can't say any but 1 would fall into that fuck boy category.
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
Didn't want to quote you but.. :udontlookok:
I remember reading an article back in my senior year of high school about this very thing. Can't remember who wrote and the web address (if I do one day I'll post it). It was after my first bad experience at a "relationship"
People always make it seem boring if you date someone like yourself.
Opposites Attract! I've kinda always looked for someone like myself. Same values on relationships. It doesn't mean you two have to like the same things and be twins. (Doesn't hurt either)... I've had success 2 times. Even though I split from the first of doing this it wasn't a bad split.
lessee hea..
great questions kur'
pros:
driven
ambitious
luvly
fun
easy breezy
listener
loyal
cons:
i think i would date me...i jus needa man on my level goal wise
Only date outside my race
Less chance of accidentally messing with someone I'm related to
That's happened twice already
:guys:
goddamn it all :plzstop:
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 05:41:38 PM
My next bae is gonna be white.
Mine is gonna be Asian
People shouldn't be afraid of "peace" tbh. It can be just as exciting and fulfilling without all the extra stuff to feel like a REAL!1! relationship. :omgwatshappening:
Quote from: Baph al Mana. on June 12, 2017, 06:57:59 PM
People shouldn't be afraid of "peace" tbh. It can be just as exciting and fulfilling without all the extra stuff to feel like a REAL!1! relationship. :omgwatshappening:
!!!!
this is all i want at tha enda tha day
PEACE
& a family to raise
(http://www.nappaland.com/archives1999-2009/03-Features/FeaturesGraphics/CeCeFam.jpg)
WHEW!
Bre... I had this conversation with my friend, cause he posted something like this on FB
that's a great question to ask, but I feel like it attacks a person's self-esteem a bit
like I know I'm not perfect, but I'd still date myself.
and then a person becomes self-conscious and tries to change and fix things, but not for themselves, just to attract someone of a certain caliber.
and it kinda lets ppl off the hook, if you deal with me, you gotta handle the flaws and all
Iono .... what you think?
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
Yes. I like to think I'm ver' open minded and emotionally intelligent. :ohwow:
im still in my earl' 20's but im feelin n thinkin more 'bout the future lately...like A LOT often
especially wit this trip im bout to go on to see tha world n mess
anybody else have those times?
i had a dream bout my weddin las week
2 yrs ago i aint wanna man or kids
now i wanna family, a house, etc etc sssssnsnsns
i been feelin' this way since las yr a bit!
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on June 12, 2017, 07:01:46 PM
Bre BAPH... I had this conversation with my friend, cause he posted something like this on FB
that's a great question to ask, but I feel like it attacks a person's self-esteem a bit
like I know I'm not perfect, but I'd still date myself.
and then a person becomes self-conscious and tries to change and fix things, but not for themselves, just to attract someone of a certain caliber.
and it kinda lets ppl off the hook, if you deal with me, you gotta handle the flaws and all
Iono .... what you think?
Hey babes :suplol:
I agree. I know myself and I can feel inconsistent. I enjoy time with myself and going away on my own. I definitely dont expect someone to be on me at all times.
Why aren't they texting and calling me every hour. They're up to something :fuming:
I'd gladly accept the same given.
Quote from: ORORO MUNROE-UDAKU on June 12, 2017, 07:01:46 PM
Bre... I had this conversation with my friend, cause he posted something like this on FB
that's a great question to ask, but I feel like it attacks a person's self-esteem a bit
like I know I'm not perfect, but I'd still date myself.
and then a person becomes self-conscious and tries to change and fix things, but not for themselves, just to attract someone of a certain caliber.
and it kinda lets ppl off the hook, if you deal with me, you gotta handle the flaws and all
Iono .... what you think?
Oh my apologies if anyone felt like that, never was my intent Bent. I feel like its easier to hold others accountable for the way things are, rather than ourselves.
I actually agree thats part of building with someone. Acknowledging that there are flaws and navigating which are workable and which are deal-breakers with each partner is important af.
I think the disappointment with ppl and dating comes in when folks arent transparent when negotiating boundaries in the beginning phases of dating.
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 06:25:55 PM
Out of the people I know, the swirly couples do seem to be lasting, A LOT longer though. :uhh:
:mmyucudnvr:
the slave master dynamic kept up for 500 years
h
here we go
I would hope so. Kinda tired of seeing these interracial couples. I think black ppl in general are scared to get in relationships with each other. They're scared to love each other.
Quote from: witch on June 12, 2017, 07:26:12 PM
I would hope so. Kinda tired of seeing these interracial couples. I think black ppl in general are scared to get in relationships with each other. They're scared to love each other.
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 12, 2017, 07:29:05 PM
nn
"black ok?"
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
What a fucking coon.
I sure don't
Quote from: witch on June 12, 2017, 07:26:12 PM
I would hope so. Kinda tired of seeing these interracial couples. I think black ppl in general are scared to get in relationships with each other. They're scared to love each other.
Idk its because we're scared, a lot of people just don't know how to love someone because they've never been shown it or saw it, so how can we expect them t o give it.
I believe in it, but I dont know if a lot of people find it.
I see some gay older black couples, but not a lot. I always say majority of gay relationships last about 3-6 months before they're on to the next. They move on so fast too.
A lot of times I think its fake, some just are acting in love for an audience.
I think we as gay men, well those of us who are 20 and up had a late start. We couldn't be out and open like this new generation which is crazy because I only been out of high school like 6 years. I think alot of us are trying to make up for lost time ..Idk maybe im talking in riddles....
Also a lot of times we are superficial. We are to stuck on what we want in a guy and we aren't abundance. He has to be masculine, he can't show emotion, has to have everything together, have to wear the latest labels, have to have the best body....Only to end up at 50 being that gay lonely uncle who once was "it."
Quote from: Tonkaman on June 12, 2017, 05:35:01 PM
Do you? Have you seen it? Want to experience it? Etc...
It's one of the most powerful things tbh
n
It's too many people fucked in the head that don't understand basic principles of being
A lot of em are black
A lot of em are faggs
It won't work
I would date myself in a heartbeat. I feel like a unicorn cause nobody's like me.
:loose2when:
Quote from: whatever on June 13, 2017, 01:42:56 AM
I believe in it, but I dont know if a lot of people find it.
I see some gay older black couples, but not a lot. I always say majority of gay relationships last about 3-6 months before they're on to the next. They move on so fast too.
A lot of times I think its fake, some just are acting in love for an audience.
I think we as gay men, well those of us who are 20 and up had a late start. We couldn't be out and open like this new generation which is crazy because I only been out of high school like 6 years. I think alot of us are trying to make up for lost time ..Idk maybe im talking in riddles....
Also a lot of times we are superficial. We are to stuck on what we want in a guy and we aren't abundance. He has to be masculine, he can't show emotion, has to have everything together, have to wear the latest labels, have to have the best body....Only to end up at 50 being that gay lonely uncle who once was "it."
This is a very good point. My friend says that the reason a lot of Black Gay relationships don't last is that Gay men seek validation for the sexuality in their partner, rather than actually wanting to be with this person long-term.
no, its not suppose to exist anyway.
Being honest with myself I don't think I want a relationship with a guy.
Its just different dating a guy and a girl and dating guys has been more difficulty tbh
Of course.
why wouldn't I?
Jesus you fags are depressing
:usureuok:
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
!
The self depreciating mess is disgusting
Blacks! Gays! Men!
Faggot maybe YOU'RE just a terrible person.
Love yourselves, girls :stressed:
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 13, 2017, 07:54:30 AM
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
!
The self depreciating mess is disgusting
Blacks! Gays! Men!
Faggot maybe YOU'RE just a terrible person.
Love yourselves, girls :stressed:
Quote from: Baph al Mana. on June 12, 2017, 06:54:09 PM
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
People always make it seem boring if you date someone like yourself. Opposites Attract! I've kinda always looked for someone like myself. Same values on relationships. It doesn't mean you two have to like the same things and be twins. (Doesn't hurt either)...
wait twins :dead:
I believed that shit when I was younger
Woo! Need someone wilds and outgoing! Different from meh!
Yeah, it was a disaster :overit:
Finding someone that has a similar personality as mine was the best thing to happen to me
Quote from: MIXER. on June 13, 2017, 07:40:34 AM
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 13, 2017, 07:37:14 AM
I have seen plenty of men that need validation from other men in the form of sexual activity or even just attention - I think it's dangerous. To me, you're more likely to engage in unsafe practices if your self esteem is based on what a man wants from you.
I never understood it, though. A nigga will always want a nut. If someone wants to fuck you, that's not exactly the highest compliment. If he wants to take you out and get to know you, that's something I'd take as a compliment. But still, you should go into anything -- whether it's a date, sex (we're all grown so have your safe fun), or whatever knowing your worth as an individual and keeping in mind that if it doesn't work out, he can hit the road and there will always be another guy there because you're just that wonderful.
But that's the thing, these niggas out here dicking downe every Tom, Dick and Dequan.
They don't even want relationships, they just want to fuck. They don't know how to be in a relationship.
The real issue here is that sex for most is the only way to express their need to be loved and held by the same sex because of the void in their life from love from a man.SO sex is the temporary fix for that euphoric feeling.
and i think that mentality just carries over into the relationship world u get so used to the temporary that you forget what its like to really be with one person to feel and share all those feelings with
:wub:
This is the worst thread I've read in months
There's nothing wrong with believing in a fairy tale
Even if you don't believe in love, TRY, and maybe someone who does will see a potential spark between you guys
Gay couples aren't prominent because of so many reasons
Acceptance
Availability
Family
AIDS (kidding)
Just think of all the straight married couples you know that SHOULDN'T be married. Perfect couples aren't just running around everywhere.
Believe in love or at least liking another guy or else you be a single 40 year old Fag or for some of you, even worse, pretending to love a woman to avoid being labeled gay AND single
And at the same time, everyone isn't meant to be in some life long relationship. But walking around hating men and thinking it'll only last for 6 months won't get you anywhere.
I just want my fags to be more optimistic
:stressed:
For a small few, yeah. I feel like trying to be in a relationship with a black guy is like pulling teeth. Black men tend to be very standoffish, condescending and egotistical. It's definitely a front, but that's where a lot of you dig your graves and partially why a lot of you are single and why white men tend to be in relationships and one of the reasons why brothers date out. White men tend to be confident, approachable and friendly when they're interested in you. Black men want to be courted and they want to be the divas. Even on this forum a lot of you come off standoffish, cliquish, egotistical and it doesn't make you look good at all. But that seems to be the thing on many black gay websites and forums, like BGC, etc. Who the fuck wants to deal with that when Tanner is making you feel like the black king you always wanted to be? And he has good credit! lol
*I'd love to marry a black man, but I don't know if it's realistic. He'd probably have to be British or some type of foreign because American men are fucked up.
Quote from: Bulldagger on June 13, 2017, 09:05:02 AM
and they want to be the divas. Even on this forum a lot of you come off standoffish, cliquish, egotistical and it doesn't make you look good at all.
*I'd love to marry a black man, but I don't know if it's realistic. He'd probably have to be British or some type of foreign because American men are fucked up.
so
what you're saying is.. you're single?
Quote from: MIXER. on June 13, 2017, 07:35:34 AM
I aspire to have a loving relationship like my parents.
My ex told me that wasn't possible because we're gay, but couldn't actually explain why we couldn't.
He grew up in a two-parent home, but not one in which the parents loved each other. He's never witnessed a loving relationship and he uses being gay as an excuse as to why he can't do it. It's not that he can't, he just doesn't know how.
I dont know, I dont feel like you need to be taught how to love. The feeling of love comes naturally to everyone regardless of how they were brought up. "Never seen 2 parents love each other" doesnt make sense to me. Things that make a relationship last like being considerate, communicating well, being faithful, and being affectionate are behaviors/life skills learned through general interactions with ANYONE throughout life. These are things you shoyld want to do and make a choice to do it as a fuckin adult in a relationship. If someone falls short in any of these areas thats simply a character flaw or immaturity. I feel like we are all capable regardless, you just have to want to. Same with the excuse that a man who beats on women does so because he didnt have a father to show him how to treat women. No, he's just an asshole. You dont need a certain figure in your life to show you how to take care of something you love....male, female or object. If youre beating on people, you simply werent taught to keep your hands to yourself or youre just violent. Maybe both.
So yeah, I dont buy the whole "doesnt know how to love because his parents didnt love each other" mess.
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 13, 2017, 08:20:04 AM
my 2 cents:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PXLijJ7ua6
!!
:blessed:
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 13, 2017, 09:15:14 AM
that's the most ive seen u type 'onz :guys:
diss queen and Ill show you typing :supluv:
I'm just fckd in the head every time anyone assumes all folks of a demo. are the same
Especially if theyre apart of the group
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 13, 2017, 09:13:43 AM
Quote from: Bulldagger on June 13, 2017, 09:05:02 AM
and they want to be the divas. Even on this forum a lot of you come off standoffish, cliquish, egotistical and it doesn't make you look good at all.
*I'd love to marry a black man, but I don't know if it's realistic. He'd probably have to be British or some type of foreign because American men are fucked up.
so
what you're saying is.. you're single?
Actually, I'm dating right now. I have no issues getting a black guy if that's what you think. I just don't like black [american] guys' approach and their mindset. Look - I've had this discussions with other well-to-do black guys and they feel the same way unfortunately.
Quote from: Bulldagger on June 13, 2017, 09:19:54 AM
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 13, 2017, 09:13:43 AM
Quote from: Bulldagger on June 13, 2017, 09:05:02 AM
and they want to be the divas. Even on this forum a lot of you come off standoffish, cliquish, egotistical and it doesn't make you look good at all.
*I'd love to marry a black man, but I don't know if it's realistic. He'd probably have to be British or some type of foreign because American men are fucked up.
so
what you're saying is.. you're single?
Actually, I'm dating right now. I have no issues getting a black guy if that's what you think. I just don't like black [american] guys' approach and their mindset. Look - I've had this discussions with other well-to-do black guys and they feel the same way unfortunately.
Are you not black American?
:guys:
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 13, 2017, 09:18:20 AM
I'm just fckd in the head every time anyone assumes all folks of a demo. are the same
Especially if theyre apart of the group
I'm not assuming we're all the same...but assumptions come from somewhere. You can see that a lot of black gay men are single. A lot of them 30 years old aren't dating, esepcially at the rate of white men. White guys be like 16 and in a committed relationship and married by 35-40. I don't see that from a lot of black gay men. I guess you can blame repression, but still.
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 13, 2017, 09:21:13 AM
Quote from: Bulldagger on June 13, 2017, 09:19:54 AM
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 13, 2017, 09:13:43 AM
Quote from: Bulldagger on June 13, 2017, 09:05:02 AM
and they want to be the divas. Even on this forum a lot of you come off standoffish, cliquish, egotistical and it doesn't make you look good at all.
*I'd love to marry a black man, but I don't know if it's realistic. He'd probably have to be British or some type of foreign because American men are fucked up.
so
what you're saying is.. you're single?
Actually, I'm dating right now. I have no issues getting a black guy if that's what you think. I just don't like black [american] guys' approach and their mindset. Look - I've had this discussions with other well-to-do black guys and they feel the same way unfortunately.
Are you not black American?
:guys:
Yes. I was born in america, but my family is from Portugal.
I do
wow its really sad to see young black gay men like yourselves doubt that you'll ever find true love.
Alarming even!
One thing that annoys me is that the black gay friends that I have are 27-48 and they're always mopping around and crying about not finding the right guy but then they always have these crazy expectations :udontlookok: and I be wondering why don't you niggas just date each other?
Quote from: LORD GRAND SUPREME PRIME CELESTIAL MARSHALL on June 13, 2017, 08:10:01 AM
This is the worst thread I've read in months
There's nothing wrong with believing in a fairy tale
Even if you don't believe in love, TRY, and maybe someone who does will see a potential spark between you guys
Gay couples aren't prominent because of so many reasons
Acceptance
Availability
Family
AIDS (kidding)
Just think of all the straight married couples you know that SHOULDN'T be married. Perfect couples aren't just running around everywhere.
Believe in love or at least liking another guy or else you be a single 40 year old Fag or for some of you, even worse, pretending to love a woman to avoid being labeled gay AND single
And at the same time, everyone isn't meant to be in some life long relationship. But walking around hating men and thinking it'll only last for 6 months won't get you anywhere.
s
you must have a new boo
:usuresis:
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
No I wouldn't date myself.
I don't really see the point in dating people with similar beliefs, interests etc. You can't really learn anything from them and they can't show you anything new.
Quote from: Drais. on June 13, 2017, 11:56:17 AM
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:45:17 PM
Lemme ask this,
Would yall date yourselves???
A lot of times these convos devolve into bashing others and the usual niggas ain't shit discourse. But we all receive similar conditioning and if we all had the values we sought, our community might not be so damn...fucked tbh.
No I wouldn't date myself.
I don't really see the point in dating people with similar beliefs, interests etc. You can't really learn anything them and they can't show you anything new.
:blush:
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 13, 2017, 08:20:04 AM
my 2 cents:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PXLijJ7ua6
Beautifully put!
Quote from: Punany Lonny on June 13, 2017, 09:14:07 AM
Quote from: MIXER. on June 13, 2017, 07:35:34 AM
I aspire to have a loving relationship like my parents.
My ex told me that wasn't possible because we're gay, but couldn't actually explain why we couldn't.
He grew up in a two-parent home, but not one in which the parents loved each other. He's never witnessed a loving relationship and he uses being gay as an excuse as to why he can't do it. It's not that he can't, he just doesn't know how.
I dont know, I dont feel like you need to be taught how to love. The feeling of love comes naturally to everyone regardless of how they were brought up. "Never seen 2 parents love each other" doesnt make sense to me. Things that make a relationship last like being considerate, communicating well, being faithful, and being affectionate are behaviors/life skills learned through general interactions with ANYONE throughout life. These are things you shoyld want to do and make a choice to do it as a fuckin adult in a relationship. If someone falls short in any of these areas thats simply a character flaw or immaturity. I feel like we are all capable regardless, you just have to want to. Same with the excuse that a man who beats on women does so because he didnt have a father to show him how to treat women. No, he's just an asshole. You dont need a certain figure in your life to show you how to take care of something you love....male, female or object. If youre beating on people, you simply werent taught to keep your hands to yourself or youre just violent. Maybe both.
So yeah, I dont buy the whole "doesnt know how to love because his parents didnt love each other" mess.
Bingo
At the end of the day its all about willing to commit to it.
Whether it be going back to school to finish your degree, going to the gym to get that weight off or being faithful in a relationship. Anybody can do any of these things but most people are lazy and procrastinate.
Wait that's Theo
You're a whore hun
You send first
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 06:09:25 PM
Quote from: Tonkaman on June 12, 2017, 06:00:47 PM
Quote from: Kurama on June 12, 2017, 05:39:05 PM
Yes it completely exists, it looks different for a lot of people and I do think its difficult to truly acquire.
I also don't think many of us know how to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men; looking at communication skills, emotional intelligence, self & community awareness, it's understandable as to why we dont.
Why do you think we don't know how? Society views? The way we view ourselves as being black and gay?
Well, a few things:
Men aren't really conditioned to be effective communicators while also being socialized to feel that the only approriate emotion that can be exhibited is anger.
Queer men receive indirect and direct messages throughout their development that their queerness is wrong/deviant/bad. Some men buy into that and it comes out in a few internally homophobic ways
Society is hypersexual and there aren't many spaces for queer men of color to just EXIST without persecution outside of mobile apps and the club. None of which are ideal for building a relationship.
The apps in general are just expedited ways to fuck random people without getting to know them. If you see thousands of folks who just say a few things hook-up and move on as a young gay, you'll think that's whats normal and you buy into that and perpetuate it.
See Tonk what you won't do is ask me a question then get ghost when I share my intimate thoughts
That there is a problem
If you ain't want my feedback just say that
(http://i.imgur.com/xKfEFtU.gif)
Yeah
Lol.
Quote from: DAMN. on June 13, 2017, 07:07:34 PM
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 13, 2017, 08:20:04 AM
my 2 cents:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PXLijJ7ua6
I agree with this!
And generally I believe in ppl thinking and calling things in your own life. The universe is crazy.
I just reconnected with someone i haven't talked to in years at the most convenient time for me
!!!!!!!
i always say u BUILD UR OWN WORLD
im so bless tht my world is near-complete!
Quote from: Tinker's Room on June 13, 2017, 07:20:13 PM
Quote from: DAMN. on June 13, 2017, 07:07:34 PM
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 13, 2017, 08:20:04 AM
my 2 cents:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PXLijJ7ua6
I agree with this!
And generally I believe in ppl thinking and calling things in your own life. The universe is crazy.
I just reconnected with someone i haven't talked to in years at the most convenient time for me
!!!!!!!
i always say u BUILD UR OWN WORLD
im so bless tht my world is near-complete!
i
SLKJDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDH
welcome to the club :young:
I think I could date myself
Though it's very egg-shelly
Always gotta be perfect and on top of ur shit
That's annoying
Quote from: MIXER. on June 22, 2017, 01:46:45 PM
Quote from: MIXER. on June 12, 2017, 05:41:38 PM
My next bae is gonna be white.
Update: I have my first date with a white guy next week
:young:
:udontlookok:
Quote from: Khoi Zan on June 22, 2017, 02:16:47 PM
keep toni's hospital pics away from ur right-click mess
:guys: